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Wednesday, May 2, 2018

What Did You Do?

What Did You Do?

Mrs. C, does not like to throw things away.  She thinks there is always some value in everything. 
I have been somewhat successful in conveying the concept that there is value in space and value in organization.  But saving things and tossing them is always a bone of contention between us.  Truth be told I am not very organized myself and do think twice before tossing anything, but I am not as over-the-top as Mrs. C.
Mrs. C claims that she knows everything she saves and where everything is stored.  She does remember most things, but not everything.  For instance (don’t tell her) but when we get Chinese take-out she saves all the packets of duck and soy sauce;  unbeknownst to her, I save the new and toss the old or they would overrun the drawer. 
I do get away with secretly culling stuff.
Most of the time.
The other day I was looking for room in the fridge to place a new bottle of teriyaki sauce.  The fridge door was packed.  I decided to do some culling.  We had two half empty squeeze botties of grape jelly that looked well past its “best by” date.  Mrs. C does not use grape jelly.  I no longer use grape jelly.  I tossed one squeeze bottle, saving one for no good reason other than to not arouse suspicions from Mrs. C.  
I then found a canning type jar filled with an ounce of an indiscernible liquid.  There was liquid on top, and residue on the bottom.  I was afraid to even give it the sniff test…tossed it with the jelly. 
I still needed room for my new bottle of teriyaki sauce when I came across a small bottle with on ounce of pomegranate juice.  It was buried way in the back.  I had no idea what that was doing there.  Probably something her health-concerned daughter left and probably over a year old…tossed it with the jelly.
One day later I heard the dreaded yell,
“JOE!! What have you done?”
“What?”
“Did you toss my pomegranate juice?”
“Maybe.”
“NOOOO!! I add that to my tea…DON’T touch my STUFF!”
Crap, caught…Mrs. C has a thing about touching her stuff even when her stuff is garbage.
“I thought it was old and you wouldn’t miss it.”
“I put it in my tea…DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF!”
“Oh for crap sake, you save everything, you save used paper towels.  If I did not toss stuff we would not be able to move in the house.”
“You waste stuff.”
“Well then just buy new stuff that I waste, for crap sake I could buy a garage full of paper towels with the money we waste every month on that damn storage unit full of shit.”
“My mothers bedroom furniture is not shit, they are solid wood.”
“No one wants it, your kids will never want it, and all wood is solid.  Storage units are just places where old crap goes to die!  For the money we’ve spent on that unit I could have bought several brand-new bedroom sets made of ‘solid wood.’”
“Leave my stuff alone, I hate you!”
“No you don’t.”
“Well I should…JERK!”
It was too late for her tea, but I went out to WaWa’s to replace the bottle of pomegranate juice.
We have this argument at least twice a month.

15 comments:

  1. This bought back memories of the day my Mum threw out my Dad's army shorts, he used to scratch his head trying to think where he had put them and all the time we laughed because they were long gone, lol. He never did know.
    Briony
    x

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  2. Well yeah. . . that pomegranate juice stuff is expensive. . .

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  3. Lol, I was thinking the same thing as Craig!

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  4. Obviously, Mrs C is not ready to let go of her mother's furniture. It's not so much the fact that it's SOLID WOOD as the fact that it's HER MOTHER'S SOLID WOOD. As for the pomegranate juice...it's not grape jelly. You should have checked the date. Sheesh! Is Mrs C going to have to buy a bunch of towels to hide her stuff under?

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  5. That’s funny. You two should do a comedy YouTube channel.

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  6. Are you sure you aren’t related to a couple in my church? He was so glad when the flood destroyed all the solid wood furniture she’d been storing! You could all be long lost cousins.

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  7. Agree with Rick. Let me know when fame descends. I was lucky, I had a husband who never, ever went into the fridge or the freezer. I was in sole charge and could do what I liked. And did!

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  8. When I say something is made of solid wood, I mean that it is made from actual logs and planks etc, not what passes for solid wood these days but is actually MDF with a thin veneer of real wood. Perhaps this is what Mrs C means too. I wouldn't mind seeing a picture of that bedroom set, just so I can torture myself with good stuff that I can't afford. (I do the same with looking at mansions online)

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  9. I feel for you....I can't stand clutter and anything I don't use I get rid of....quickly....I've been told a little TOO qickly at times but I don't let it stop me lol.

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  10. Totally agree with those storage units. What a scam they are. All over the country people are storing stuff no one really wants or it would be in use.
    Had to laugh at the Pom juice. I just threw out a 3/4 full bottle out after at least a year. In my opinion, it tasted awful but it was too expensive for the drain--until this week.

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  11. Honestly, I read things like this and I start to hyperventilate. Clutter really bothers me. I have a friend who gets rid of nothing and she also seems to know where every little bit of it is in what I see as the home of a hoarder in need of an intervention. I love her dearly, but I would never, ever be able to live with someone like that.

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  12. For YEARS we had a storage unit full of, what I believed at the time were "treasures." As of today, most of what I had in those storage units are now gone and I have no regrets getting rid of them. I do have regrets on the amount of money we paid monthly for 10 years.

    Buying a storage business would be a good investment.

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  13. Hey, *I* put pom juice in my tea, too! Tell Mrs. C to try some tart cherry juice sometime - that's really good in tea, too.

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  14. I have a solution, stop throwing my stuff out and we wont argue!!! DUH! JERK

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