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Sunday, May 27, 2018

STUPID HEADLINES 052818


STUPID HEADLINES 052818

It is time again for
Why, that is outrageous!!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Ohio man calls police to report he's being followed by a pig That’s one of the problems with internet dating services.

Airlines passenger arrested after peeing on seat in front of him during flight – I guess I shouldn’t complain about little kids kicking my seat.

Hotel pulls out after group seeks to break world record for largest orgy – Really, “Pulls-out” not cancels, or declines?

NHL prospect horrified to find 2-foot tapeworm was inside him during season – I’m horrified to learn there is a season for tapeworms!

Harvey Weinstein expected to turn himself in, reportedly to face sexual misconduct charges – Not a stupid headline; I just want to celebrate the fall of this big fat disgusting bloviating piece of shit.

It's 'Stormy Daniels Day' in West Hollywood! – Because in California, a woman who s*cks c*cks in movies for a living and then complains because she did not get paid off enough for her blackmail, “If I knew he would be President I would have asked for much more” gets a key to the city.  Go California!

Scientists discover opioids in Seattle’s Puget Sound mussels – This explains the new fad in Seattle, “skin popping shellfish.”

Sinkhole Appears on White House Lawn – Trump claims it is a result of draining the swamp!

30-year-old ordered to vacate parents' home claims they harassed him –  his parents were demanding he get a full-time job, health insurance and sessions with a therapist, but he said he "didn't need any of those things." Well no; not as long as he could just sponge off mom and dad!

Florida couple finds 300-pound alligator swimming in their pool – “Marco…Polo, Marco…Poly crap!”


FLYING A-HOLE OF THE WEEK AWARD:

Writer: I Would Rather My Daughter to Date an MS-13 Member Over a Republican* – And this weeks Flying A-hole award goes to writer Rob Rousseau who doesn’t have a daughter, but if he did would rather have her date a member of the gang whose motto is “rape, control, kill” than someone who might be so outrageous as to wear a MAGA hat.





CONGRATULATIONS Rob Rousseau, you earned it, and may you NEVER have a daughter!


*I apologize for this slightly political comment, but if you wish to defend Mr. Rousseau, please feel free to grab the award for yourself.


FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Teen who used to sleep in homeless-shelters gets full ride to Harvard – This is much better than any “Dog saves owner story!”


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Come Back Again Next Week for More

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

13 comments:

  1. The thirty-year old living with his parents cracked me up. I represent people in eviction hearings a lot, so it definitely caught my interest but struck me as hilariously sad.

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  2. I saw the video on the 30 year old that his parents want done. What a slug.

    The A-hole award. Spot on. Spot on.

    Have a fabulous day, Cranky. ☺

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  3. The Harvard teen story was wonderful!!

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  4. Thank you for your comment on Harvey. Pretty much sums him up. Wonder why the parents didn't just change the locks? Oh, maybe he never left the house.

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  5. I sorta scratch my head about parents needing to sue their son to get him out of their house. My kids know that, long before it gets to that, their stuff gets thrown in the street, and the locks get changed. . . BTW, the son did himself no PR favors by giving interviews. . .

    And I can't argue with your Flying A**hole Award. I'm no Trumpkin, but I get no end of amusement from lefties losing their minds over a lost election. . . These are the people whose motto is, "We're smarter than you, we're better than you, so shut up and do what we tell you". . . (is that too political?)

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  6. Depending on what state the man who won't leave lives in, his parents may not be able to just change the locks. Some states make it extremely hard to evict someone, and that's what this is coming down to.

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  7. That 30-year-old is a worse parasite than a tapeworm! I had to snort at your pig-followee comment.

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  8. Mz Daniels needs to partake of the Seattle mussels whilst swimming round the White House sinkhole with Harvey Wanker & The Orange Overlord and host the cancelled orgy.

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  9. So many stupid headlines..so many weirdos. I think I'll just limit my comment to 2 of the headlines. First, I've always wanted a tapeworm..just for a season so I could eat what I want and not count carbs, calories, or those stupid fitbit steps to lose a pound. (I know, I'm not right in the head) Second..please California, leave the USA..become you're own country where I don't ever want to use my passport to go visit. (Sorry to all my relatives that live there) Have a good weekend!

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  10. I was getting the cold shoulder at home at 18. Hey boy, you need a job. We're trying to feed a family here :)
    Just kidding. I couldn't get away fast enough.

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  11. Well, about the Ohio guy who called police - who the heck would you call if a pig followed you? Ghostbusters?

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  12. Some people just shouldn't have children. Good choice for the award!

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