Thursday, May 17, 2018
People sometimes ask me, “Cranky, what makes you so cranky.” Actually, no one ever asks me that but I’ll tell you anyway.
Annoying sayings make me cranky, especially annoying old sayings that sound like sage advice, but in reality, are just stupid ways to try and sound intelligent and or end a debate.
Go big or go home: This is the macho creed that is announced whenever a decision has to be made to take a chance or be conservative.
Should we go fishing in what looks like bad weather, or wait for another day?
This is when Mr. Macho chimes in “I always say, go big or go home!”
Don’t discuss the pros and cons of a situation, just “Go big or go home!”
Listen dickweed, sometimes “go home” means going home to your maker, and I’d like to think on it a bit if you don’t mind!
Failure is not an option:
When discussing what to do if something does not go well. You know, like you are late on a project, or lose a law suit. Isn’t it helpful for some douche to say,
“Failure is not an option!”
Maybe if you are talking life or death, but otherwise failing is an absolute option and it may be worth considering a plan “B.”
Trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity:
If at first you don’t succeed try, try again:
OK genius, which is it? Keep trying something again and again until you succeed or does that make you insane. I know some people who go insane trying over and over to hit a golf ball, but then I’m pretty sure professional golfers kept trying again and again until they actually did achieve different results…so…which is it?
You are what you eat: Well then today I am a ham on rye sandwich, but I don’t feel like a ham on rye sandwich, so that saying is just stupid!
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it: This little gem has put out more fires than a wet blanket. Generally, it comes from someone who is just afraid of change.
“I have this great idea to improve communication.”
“Sit down Alexander, the mail works just fine, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.”
Things of that nature, and basically: These are just short cuts that stupid people use to get out of accurately explaining an event. Basically, using them is like having an “I am stupid” caption over your head…or things of that nature.
It’s a game changer: I don’t know why, this one just annoys the hell out of me.
Period, end of sentence: Why not just say what you mean, “That’s it, your wrong, I’m not listening anymore” or better yet, just put your hands over your ears and go NaNaNaNaNaNaNa!
I know you are, but what am I? : I really hate this one, but I’ve learned it is just best to not call your grandchildren names.
That’s it, these are all the sayings that make me cranky…Period, end of sentence!