Hoarding
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| Not the Cranky house, but it could be if hoarding instincts went unchecked. |
My wife is a
borderline hoarder. We don’t live like
those whack jobs on the TV show. We can
move around the house, we have no vermin issues, the house has no unusual odors. When company comes over Mrs. C can make the
house look almost normal in just a few hours. But, if not controlled, we could become THAT house.
Hoarding is
a combination of being overly thrifty, sentimental, and lazy.
Things are
saved because “I think I may have a use
for that.” Of course, when you do “have
a use for that,” you forget you have it and you buy another. Anything left over from that purchase gets
saved because “We may need that again.”
Things are
saved because, “Peter made that hand
print in first grade.” He also made
a handprint in kindergarten, second grade and cub scouts. Could we maybe only save one handprint?
The biggest
cause of hoarding I have found, is laziness.
“Can I throw this away?”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know, it looks like the
instructions for an automatic can opener, and we don’t own an automatic can
opener.”
“I’ll look at it later, don’t throw
it away.”
Later never
comes and the instructions for an automatic can opener which we do not own goes
away in a drawer.
Years later
I will see these very same instructions.
“Why do we have the instructions for
an automatic can opener when we don’t even own an automatic can opener and if we
did own an automatic can opener all the instructions say is ‘Lock top on can and press button,
remove lid when done and don’t cut yourself on the lid.’”
“I don’t know why, but if I saved it
there must be a reason, don’t throw it away.”
And this is
the beginning of hoarding…save it until you can decide later if you need it and
then later decide to keep it because there must be a reason you saved it in the
first place.
My friend
Scott has a system where he labels and dates everything he saves. If the item has not been used for two years, and
has no eBay value, he throws it away. I
approve, but we are not anal enough to implement this system.
To combat
the urge to hoard, I will periodically just toss crap without asking, because I
know I will never get an official approval to toss anything.
This is
almost always safe, but every once and a while I will hear that dreaded hoarder
panic scream,
“JOE!! Did you throw away the
instructions for the automatic can opener? I need them!”
My response
explains why Mrs. C thinks I am hard of hearing.
Some folks do find it hard to part with anything. If those nutty shows can be believed they even have a problem parting with garbage.
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting the good fight.
1st of all, we do have an automatic can open, you just don't know where it is. 2nd STOP THROWING MY STUFF AWAY!!!!! JERK!
ReplyDeleteI knew it!!
DeleteWell, I am a cleaner and throw out almost everything except sentimental stuff from the kids. Hubby hangs onto everything because it means he will live longer.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter did home nursing, one of her patients was featured on the TLC Hoarders show. He kept everything in garbage bags stacked to the ceiling. It was a sad story where he had had so much loss (death) in his life, that's how he coped.
ReplyDeleteI saw that one! I felt sorry for that guy. I wanted someone to play those board games with him.
DeleteIt's far better to ask for forgiveness than permission. That's been my motto for years.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
As long as you can walk through, and have use of the kitchen and bathroom, and there are no cat skeletons...it's not really a hoarder house. Even Hick has his hoard organized, and keeps building more sheds to hold the stuff he can't part with.
ReplyDeleteI can understand holding onto the sentimental stuff. I have too much paperwork that needs to be thinned out. I'm just lazy. If I tossed it without going through every piece, the odds are that I'd only throw away 1 or 2 things I may ever need.
Some of those "wack jobs" are my friends. Some of them have hoarding disorder. Some have Obsessive-Compulsive Hoarding Disorder, which is different from regular OCD. Some had a death in the family or other event that plunged them into depression, and they stopped cleaning, and everything got out of hand. The stories vary, but they all need compassion and help. It's because i fight the tendency that i am a moderator with an online self-help hoarding group.
ReplyDeleteMrs. C is not a hoarder, but she may be what some call a messy, or a sidetracked person. It only makes it worse if you throw things away, it makes us suspect every bag of garbage.
You and Mrs. C might sit down and come to an agreement of some kind. She keeps only a certain number of widgets for "just in case" and after that, gets rid of them. There is a designated area for certain types of widgets, and she doesn't keep more than the number that can fit in there. Something like that.
Meanwhile, remember some people spend their whole lives fighting to not be disorganized, messies, or hoarders, and we need help. Everyone has their hard.
Mrs. C has some issues saving things, but I do exaggerate a bit. We're good.
DeleteIf in doubt, chuck it out.
ReplyDeleteGuilty but only fabric and yarn and some craft supplies. Nothing dead, smelly or any kind of bugs and vermin.
ReplyDeleteI have a folder labelled instructions and warranties and go through it every couple of years. Any instructions that have outlived the item get chucked. I still have the receipt, warranty and instructions for the washing machine, because I still have that machine, now almost 22 years old. But the instructions for assorted dryers and vacuums are long gone, ditto the instructions for the sandwich toaster because who the heck needs those?
ReplyDeleteMy sister, on the other hand still has almost everything she ever bought or was gifted, including clothes she wore in primary school, "because they're mine and you don't give away your things". To be fair, she is mentally retarded, but I still think even she should know that no one keeps every single thing. She has a lot of genuine rubbish too, she doesn't throw it all out each week because she is afraid her neighbours will see and judge her for her purchases. I just wish I could help her somehow, but she might not like my dumpster and front end loader approach.
We wobble between hoarding and decluttering. It’s a weird dance.
ReplyDeleteHad to laugh at the obsolete (though not according to Mrs.C.) instructions. I use to have many such useless booklets and never seemed to have the one I needed. Then I discovered Google could bring me up a copy in seconds so I emptied that drawer.
ReplyDeleteI'm the opposite, I'm a minimalist. If I find something unidentifiable lying around for more than 15 minutes I throw it away. Occasionally, when I realize I might need those automatic can opener instructions, I just look it up on the internet.
ReplyDeleteBefore all hell broke out this year, our goal was purging. We boxed up books, things that have to be dusted, wall clutter. We painted over wall murals. All inside is peaceful. The garage however is a nightmare. Our boxes marked Keep, Garage Sale, Donate are mixed in with Grandson's "Can I store this here until....", boxes and boxes and unboxed items of my mom's waiting to be gone through when all the grandchildren can be in town at the same time (2025 or so) and more and more. Time to call Salvation Army and tell them to come get it all.
ReplyDeleteOne good thing about city living is that I don't have room for a lot of things. We don't really have storage. I'll have to be careful about not packing the basement or attic when we buy a house. I feel like it's easy to just put it away for later if you have places to stash things.
ReplyDeleteI've used the date trick before, though I usually only give things one year. You should send Mrs Cranky to help someone clean out a place where a hoarder has lived. Hubby got a lot better after we helped my parents (my mom is a hoarder) move.
ReplyDeleteIt's a constant battle, getting rid of stuff. For many years I had clutter well-controlled because we moved a lot. But now we've been in this house for over 11 years and there's no move in sight. Stuff has accumulated... It's time to do some serious decluttering without a change of residence coming up!
ReplyDelete