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Sunday, February 18, 2018

STUPID HEADLINES 021818

STUPID HEADLINES 021818
it is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Spain cracks secret code on King Ferdinand's mysterious 500-year-old military letters“We are surrounded by overwhelming forces, send Hel…”
Trump says he 'looks forward' to speaking at CPAC – Why would he speak at a anti-snoring breathing device?
Pastor insists nothing happened with bound naked man in car – I think having a bound naked man in the car is enough, does anything else have to happen?
Arizona woman goes to bed with 'pounding' headache, wakes up with British accent – I’ve heard that sometimes it happens the other way around.
Why are Olympic medalists celebrating with stuffed animals? – Because the real things won’t hold still!
Passenger's cigarette break causes massive airport delays – What? They couldn’t wait five minutes?
Pakistani students rally against Valentine's Day – We do that in the USA, it’s called “not sending a card!”
Amazon sex toys mystery: Unsolicited parcels sent to strangers – That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Elk dies after jumping into low flying research helicopter – Researchers report, “Elk can jump really friggin high!”
Pilot forced to make emergency landing after fight breaks out over farting passenger – A rare emergency landing because a plane had too much gas.
AND FROM FLORIDA:
Florida woman claims mayor wanted sex in exchange for speed bumps – At my age; is there a difference?
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
world's worst attempted robbery – I love a good robbery screw-up story and this is as good as it gets!
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Come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

9 comments:

  1. The botched robbery made the news over here...hilarious...I hope it soured them on theft for a life time.

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  2. Your link doesn't work on the worlds worst attempted robbery, but I found it anyway. That was a good one. Thank goodness some of these idiots are stupid. Just saying.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  3. I wouldn't have thought elk could jump at all.

    But hell, a free helicopter ride? It's worth a try.

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  4. I love the stupid headlines and look forward to each post. I realize that most of the news is made up of stupid people doing stupid stuff and stupid headlines sure bring it all together. Unfortunately, the rest of the paper is scary, sad, and full of sports which I don't read anyway. We have a page in our paper called the kids page. The kids are given an question and then their answers are published. The paper prints it just as it's written...spelling mistakes and all...it's the best! Their insight gives me hope that maybe there won't be so many stupid headlines in the future. Thanks for the laugh today!

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  5. "Why would he speak at a anti-snoring breathing device?" "Cause he thought it was a BJ?

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  6. My 13-year-old self is snorting at the bound naked man, and the pounding-headache woman, and curious about where I'd have to move to accidentally receive one of those Amazon packages.

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  7. I like the apocryphal story about gas thieves that tried to siphon gas from a motor home and got the septic tank instead.

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  8. I want one of those Amazon packages!

    I'm not commenting on weird Florida stuff. Just want it to be known that we filter our water before we drink it!

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