STUPID HEADLINES 022518
it is time again for
But...but?
| STUPID
HEADLINE SUNDAY |
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes
sophomoric comments.
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Georgia man force-fed goat cocaine,
whiskey – Candy is
dandy, but liquor (and cocaine) is quicker.
Russian curler suspected of doping – He had to take something to keep
awake!
McDonald's guest left 'devastated'
over missing snack ingredient – No cheese in her mozzarella sticks…I would be annoyed, maybe
even angry, but DEVASTATED!! This is
epic! It is terrifying how people are
watering down super awesome words, it is literally making me freak out!
NASA is contemplating sending a submarine
into space – Wouldn’t
that just make it a “Spaceship” with a periscope?
Kirstie Alley gets slammed by US
Olympic curling team after calling sport 'boring' – Well, curling may not be as exciting
as the summer Olympic sport “Watching Grass Grow” but it is certainly not
boring.
Woman caught drying underwear with
plane's overhead vent – It might not have been so bad if she had taken them off first.
Amsterdam cracking down on tourists
in Red Light District who stare at hookers – Smoke pot…no problem.
Prostitution…no problem. Stare at
a hooker…problem. Where do they draw the
line from a peak to a look to a stare?
Massive dust storm turns entire town
orange – Has the
President been in a dust storm?
Woman caught on camera allegedly
stealing from restaurant tip jar – Apparently the woman thought it was a “leave a dollar take a
dollar” jar.
Kentucky Fried Chicken ran out of ...
chicken – The
colonel’s recipe is a secret, but I’m pretty sure one of the main ingredients
is CHICKEN!
Woman defecates in pants to hide
drugs during arrest – Well, that is disgusting, but the cops have a sense of humor, they
charged her with “Tampering with evidence.”
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK:
Korean War veteran saves woman from
knife-wielding thugs – 88 year old British special forces trained veteran took on 5 young punks
with knives and made them run away scared…if that does not make you feel good,
nothing will!
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Come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Curling? They've made an Olympic event for amateur hair stylists? What?
ReplyDeleteI guess it all depends on who is watching whatever sport happens to be on TV..for me they are all boring but the worst is golf.
ReplyDeleteEverything that you do not understand is boring. As I learned curling it slowly got more interesting. Golf is actually an incredibly complicated game when you understand it and is everything but boring, if you boil it down to hitting a little ball into a hole then it is boring; but I do understand when people find golf boring, I fall asleep watching ballet, opera or musicals.
DeleteI like the feel good story the best. That's my kind of guy.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
This is a great batch of headlines. I do hope the McDonald's mozzarella stick lady is suing.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I even saying - of course she's going to sue. Obviously.
You have to love a guy who will stand up to thugs like this.
ReplyDeleteIt does happen on occasion that a restaurant runs out of a key ingredient. If it's a chain, they may be able to go get more from another store. If it's not, they can sometimes go buy ingredients at a regular grocery. #1 Son's pizza place ran out of dough a half hour before close one night, and they were not busy, so they just closed early. If it had been earlier in the day, they'd have either gotten dough from another store, or done a "hot batch" which is a quick rise method. The dough isn't as good when made that way, but it works.
ReplyDeleteThe last time i checked, if a chicken place runs out of chicken, they can go to any grocer and get more.
The man who stood up to those thugs, i wish we could bottle his courage and distribute it widely.
Heh, heh! I snorted at the underwear-dryer! I hope that devastated McDonald's lady didn't switch to KFC for her next fast food meal! I don't know if she'd survive if her chicken came without CHICKEN!
ReplyDeleteI saw the video clip of the woman drying her knickers via the air vent ~ looks like there's no such thing as decorum or decency or common sense.....KFC without chicken is like McD's without mozzarella (snicker)......Curling is so boring that someone decided to air a short informational clip to explain it, leaving me snoozing........
ReplyDeleteYou're right, if you don't understand the sport it is rather boring, although I can't watch soccer even though I do understand the game, nor can I stand to watch golf. It takes too long for anything to happen.
I love these stupid headlines!
Woman caught on camera allegedly stealing from restaurant tip jar – Apparently the woman thought it was a “leave a dollar take a dollar” jar. <-- Clearly she agreed with George Costanza on the umbrella thing!
ReplyDelete