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Sunday, February 11, 2018

STUPID HEADLINES 021118

STUPID HEADLINES 021118
it is time again for
Not sure passing means they did or they didn't

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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McDonald's french fries contain chemical that may cure baldness – Do you want fries with that shampoo?
Canada's Trudeau corrects woman for using 'mankind' at town hall – I guess gender neutrality is very important, but how about manners, I think he was rude!
Texas middle school student drives school bus to safety after driver has medical emergency – This kid, 14, is a hero for sure, but he is from Texas, so he’s been driving for at least eight years.
Girl Scout sells 312 boxes of cookies in six hours outside pot dispensary – Location, location, location!
Ancient virus could be responsible for human ability to think – Crap! I think my ancient family got vaccinated.
Pyeongchang will set a Winter Olympics record for most free condoms – Athletes asked for Athletic Protectors, not sure they meant condoms.
Pelosi-buster: House Democratic leader speaks for record 8 straight hours demanding immigration vote – Love her or hate her, you have to give credit for a 76-year-old woman who birthed five children to stand for 8 hours without taking a bathroom break…and on 4 inch heals!
Florida boy gets trapped inside arcade claw machine – I love Florida, I really do, but dang, so many wacky stories I see come from Florida, apparently, they start them young.
Australian lawmakers debate banning sex with staff members – Does this mean those who report to them, or does it refer to masturbation? (His 13-year-old self asked.)
Justin Timberlake: My son 'will never play football' – Crap, did the Giants just waste another draft choice?
Man steals car, then calls owner for help starting it, police say – The shed has sharper tools.
 FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
Two Dogs Begged To Be Let Outside At 4:30 AM And Saved A Woman From Freezing To Death – When is the last time a cat saved anyone’s life?
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Come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

12 comments:

  1. Oh my God I had to laugh out loud when I read the very first one about the drunk drivers failing their "test", I bet those cops aren't following the actual instruction manual...

    The Girl Scout who set up outside the pot dispensary is one smart cookie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You might want to decline if Nancy Pelosi challenges you to an arm-wrestling contest. This week's crop was a delight for my 13-year-old self.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and I'm surprised that the Girl Scout couldn't sell 420 boxes of cookies.

      Delete
  3. An impressive Democrat for sure.....but really...called the driver for help starting the car????? Really??????

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  4. Loved Adam and Eva. Wish they were my neighbors.

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  5. "Girl Scout sells 312 boxes of cookies in six hours outside pot dispensary – Location, location, location!"

    My wife says we need to get us a food truck and just drive around college towns in Colorado selling nothing but Cheetos between 10 pm and 4 am. She says in no time we could afford our own penthouse condo in Aspen.

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  6. The girl scout certainly took advantage of the fact that several someones had a big case of the munchies.

    Yes, i have heard of cats saving lives, especially one kitten that woke her family when the house was on fire. You are correct that dogs come to the rescue more often, but cats can and do rise to the challenge on occasion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure, the cat needed someone to let it out!

      Delete
  7. There are some great headlines here. Gives a whole new meaning to breathalyzer doesn't it.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  8. I feel like I should have something suitably smart-ass-y to say about drunk drivers and blow jobs. . . but I can't come up with anything that isn't even more disgusting than the headline itself. . .

    And one can only wonder what was meant by 'staff members'. . .

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  9. There is a girl scout that can get any sales job she wants. I really enjoyed the headlines this week and your comments.

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  10. Girl Scout sells 312 boxes of cookies in six hours outside pot dispensary <-- Something tells me she'll go far in life!

    ReplyDelete

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