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Monday, February 19, 2018

A Mildly Unpleasant Cranky Sunday

A Mildly Unpleasant Cranky Sunday
Here in cranky townhouse land.
Sunday, we had no plans.  Mrs. Cranky was taking an early afternoon nap, I was in my basement cave playing guitar and watching golf on TV.
Life was good.
Then, when I went upstairs for a snack, I heard a strange noise.  It was the vacuum cleaner. 
I chill ran up my spine.
I was usually the vacuumer, but why the sudden fear?
In a previous life when the vacuum cleaner came out if I was doing nothing, (enjoying oneself on my day off was considered “doing nothing” in a previous life) it meant trouble.  The vacuum cleaning was the portent of things to come…bad things.  Oh, there was nothing to stop the bad things, they were boiling and were going to bubble over no matter what. 
There would be yelling and complaining and chores.  Chores that served no major purpose other than to keep me busy.  When the disease hit, relaxing on a day off made her angry.  When the disease hit, I needed to be moving and busy.  There was still yelling and complaining, and it was generally the same.
“How can you sit around doing nothing watching TV?  You are so lazy and worthless; do I have to do everything myself?”
It didn’t matter that I worked 8 hours a day and commuted 3hours every day in packed trains with smelly disease breathing passengers all week, and once my son was in school she cleaned the breakfast dishes and then spent the afternoons with her friends smoking cigarettes and drinking wine.  I was a lazy good for nothing because I watched TV on a Sunday.
I guess I could have told her to shut the F up, but it would not have worked.  I knew that nothing short of domestic violence would have stopped the verbal assaults, so I jumped to and got busy doing something…anything and absorbed the verbal abuse until the disease let up.
On this Sunday when I heard the vacuum I instinctively felt the need to get up and do something.
“What’s up, why are you vacuuming, that’s my job, I’ll do it!”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to try out the new machine.”
“You’re not angry about something?”
“What?  Why would I be angry?  Go back downstairs and enjoy the golf.”
Sometimes I forget, it is a different wife and a different life.
I still had a twinge of guilt, so I did some laundry.


  1. I'm old fashioned and still believe in the sexual division of labor but that is because I never had a job outside of the house. ...........I have to concede that since most women work now, it would be better to share the housework. Good for you to be out of that marriage. Mrs. Cranky is a dear person.

  2. Oh. I see. Mrs. Cranky proves that love CAN exist in a vacuum.

  3. Funny how things like that can stick in your head.

  4. Thank goodness for common sense. New vac or not ours never saw the light of day on a Sunday! Sunday here is considered everyone's day off including the vacuum cleaner... lol.

  5. That's actually really sad, Joe. I'm glad you found the best version of a Mrs. Cranky now.

  6. Isn't it interesting how early conditioning to certain triggers can lurk within us for such a long time. I think you are a lucky man to have found Mrs. C. Well, I think you know that.

  7. "Pity Laundry" huh, I can't say that I haven't been there too.

    Mrs. Cranky sounds like a good woman Joe, I'm happy that you are with her my friend.

  8. Sometimes it takes a while to get it right. Looks like we both did it right. Excellent.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  9. What a nice surprise. Not at all what I was expecting but delighted for you. Those morning coffees are paying off. Think you have a winner there.

  10. At our house, Sunday afternoon attendance at Bedside Baptist is mandatory. And i cannot imagine vacuuming for fun, but that’s because i do it for a living.

  11. Sounds like this Mrs. C is definitely an improvement.

  12. I am so happy that you chose the right lady this time.

    through your description i can imagine that your ex wife can hardly find peace with her hard to bear habits and routines .

    a good life partner is blessing which not only completes you but create the circle of peace around you to protect you from any harm.
    God Bless You Joe!

  13. Isn't it weird how old feelings like that can affect you years and years later?

    I swear the reason I don't care at all for football is because my ex used to go nuts when "his" team lost...throwing things, etc. To this day when I hear the sounds of a football game on TV, I almost start to cower, bracing myself for bad things to come. I know it's crazy, but like you said - sometimes you forget...

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