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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Signs, Signs Everywhere Signs

Signs, Signs Everywhere Signs

We live in a small community of town houses, maybe 170 units.  There is one main road running thru the complex and several offshoots.  We live on one of the offshoots. 

The streets, unlike many town home communities I have seen, are very wide, which is nice for visitor parking as the driveways are all only one car wide and quite short.  There are some special spaces set aside for parking, but they are often taken by three-car family owners.

I like this little community.  I know almost no one, and I actually kind of like that.  It is quiet, the children mostly well behaved, and everyone seems to be responsibly citizens. 

Lately, some power-hungry community politician has seen fit to throw community rules in everyone’s face and plaster the streets with signs.

First, two years ago, they put in five speed bumps to protect the children who never play in the street.  Those speed bumps must have cost a pretty penny, and in addition to protecting the children who never play in the street from drivers who in the past never needed speed bumping, they are a pain in the ass forcing you to slow down to 5 mph five times just to enter or leave the community.

Once the speed bumps were in place we needed 10 giant signs telling people to watch out for the speed bumps.

Next, apparently someone did not clean up after their dog.  We now have about 20 signs telling people to clean up after their dogs.  I’m pretty sure in this day and age, everyone knows to clean up after their dog, and if they choose to give others the middle finger and leave Fido’s poop on the grass, a sign telling them not to do that will not correct their nasty ways.

Parking has never been a problem in the community.  Because of the wide streets there is plenty of parking.  Sometimes I park on the street so I don’t have to make Mrs. C move her car, as driveways are only one car wide.  Many people park in the street for this reason and it has never…let me say that again, NEVER been a problem for anyone.

Recently no parking signs have popped up along all the streets.  There is a sign on both sides about every 20 yards.  I wonder how much it cost to buy and install around 50 signs to tell people not to park on the street where it has never been a problem to park on the street and where the township does not have authority and does not patrol parking and everyone…let me say that again, EVERYONE just ignores the signs and parks as they have always parked because there is NOT ONE REASON not to park as we have always parked.

I guess all these signs don’t hurt anything, except they are kind of ugly, they are not free, and they serve no purpose what-so-ever, except to annoy me.

Because of these friggin signs, posted because of some anal-retentive board member, I now dangerously fly over the speed bumps, I park on the street even when I don’t want to, and I plan to buy a very big dog and let him shit everywhere when no one is watching.


  1. It appears the HOA may have had a surplus of cash they had to spend or otherwise they’d have had to reduce fees.

  2. Heh, heh! I love your spirit. Maybe you can train a bird to sit on top of the signs and take a crap on them, too!

  3. There is one in every such community like that, I swear.

  4. Belgium Shepherd, they poop really big!!!

    Sister-in-law lives in HOA where no one is allowed to have their garage doors open for more than 15 minutes as it is an eye sore! There are signs reminding people to follow all HOA rules or they will be fined! Let's define "eye sore"!

  5. There's a Mr. or Mrs. Barney Fife in every community, and they spoil everything.

  6. Go for it Mr C. When I'm driving I often think it's dangerous trying to read all the signs on the side of the roads.

  7. Well, somewhere somebody needed to keep an employee busy so they told them to think of things to make signs about and then probably had a family member in the sign business. I was reading my old high school yearbook the other day and in it was a page devoted to the new speed bumps in the student parking lot and driveway. Did you graduate from Willowbrook High School in Villa Park, Ill? (1971) That article and your post sound almost identical!

  8. Spring for a sign that reads "Ignoring all posted signs within community is mandatory" and post it right at the entrance to your community.

  9. My favorite signs, which are everywhere in Texas, say, "Observe signs. State law."

    It's amazing. Think about it.

  10. Ignoring the signs is enough, please don't do the big dog thing. You know how many flies you're going to attract if you do? Millions of buzzing blowflies who will lay billions of eggs that will hatch into maggots who will grow up to become blow flies who will continue the cycle forever and ever.

    1. Apparently that last paragraph needs a sarcasm font.

  11. Our main roads were once littered with signs but someone somewhere complained and most were removed. I just checked my road... not a sign in sight. I like Jimmy's suggestion, though.

  12. I have long felt that HOA Boards are where the surviving Nazi's settled after WWII. And don't forget, Board members are elected, and they can be removed, or voted out. REVOLT! ;)

  13. One of my friends who lives in a community governed by HOA says she likes the board not for what they are telling HER she can't do, but for what they are telling HER NEIGHBORS what they can't do. All it takes is one car in the front yard next door on cement blocks to bring your property values down.

    But that's not what you're venting about. LOL on the craziness that wanna-be drill sergeants bring to quiet neighborhoods.


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