STUPID HEADLINES 021416
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Man in clown costume arrested for DUI – Turns out his erratic driving was because the oversize clown shoes kept hitting the wrong pedal.
Goat arrested in India for grazing in judge's garden – What did they do, send it to the pen?
Florida Man Accused Of Tossing Gator Into Wendy's Drive-Thru Window – “You want fries with that ferocious friggin reptile?”
Music publisher doesn't own 'Happy Birthday,' has to pay back $14 million – I think he owes me something for at least eleven birthdays that didn’t turn out so hot.
Storm destroys bridge for mice in Wales, closes busy road – This explains why so many Welsh mice were late to work.
Wife faces 6 years in prison for not cleaning or cooking for her husband – This is ridiculous, I would think 4 years would be fair, but 6 is excessive.
Female tiger dies in a mating attempt gone wrong – Apparently tigers do not believe no means no.
Female Shark Eats Male Shark in Aquarium – I’m guessing it was a tiger shark.
A Fully-Functional Replica of the Titanic Will Set Sail in 2018 – I’d sign up, but I have a sinking feeling about this.
Lucky sloth travels the world in a private jet – I am not a big fan of Michael Moore, but he is talented and not just lucky…what …it’s not?…never mind.
The Pope, Trump, and the Mexican border – Remember Johnny Carson’s Carnak? “What is a name for hope, a dope, and a slippery slope.”
Texas recommends court ban on bite mark evidence – Marv Albert is moving to Texas. (giyp)
Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!