CRANKY IS A RAT
I went to
the gym today and ran my daily six miles on the treadmill. OK, I ran three miles, only I walked most of
it and I only do this 2-3 times a week…I plan to do six miles every day, but I
am often very busy doing…ah…stuff.
Anyway,
after my workout I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items. Mrs. C gave me a list but I didn’t have to
read it. Two items were my request and
the other two items I was able to commit to memory.
When I
walked in, I was followed by a young mother and a squeaky four year old
girl. The young mother seemed nice, but
I immediately disliked the squeaky little girl.
I am a cranky old man; I am not supposed to find squeaky little people
cute. They are supposed to annoy
me. They almost always meet my
expectations.
I made a
complete loop around the store to gather my four items. Truthfully I made two loops around the store
because I missed one aisle. It is part
of being a guy; you are expected to miss an aisle. Anyway, this delay put me directly behind the
young mom and the squeaky little girl in the checkout line.
The squeaky
one wanted a candy bar. She wanted it
because she saw it. She saw it because
stores always put candy at the checkout lines and they put them at eye level
for squeaky little people. Mom said
no. Squeaky said please. Mom said we have candy at home. Squeaky disagreed. Mom firmly said no. Squeaky stomped her foot several times. Mom ignored the foot stomping. I was starting to like the mom more and the
squeaky little person even less.
After the
foot stomping, the little girl turned into an angel. Well she put on an angel act, as she grabbed
the candy bar and held it behind her back.
I ignored the act of thievery. I assumed she would be caught by mom as
generally little people are not good at hiding stuff.
This little
people was very good at hiding stuff and was about to pull off her candy
heist.
The cranky
old man would have none of it. I coughed
and when the mom looked at me I gave her the eye and nodded towards her squeaky
child. She returned my glance
quizzically and I mouthed “candy bar” while nodding again toward the thief.
“What do you have?”
“Nothing”
“Show me you hands.”
“I have nothing.”
“Show me both hands!”
BUSTED!
“Wait until we get home young lady
and don’t expect any treats tonight! And
DO NOT EVEN TRY TO STOMP YOUR FEET OR CRY!”
She did thank me as she left. The little person gave me the evil eye.
She did thank me as she left. The little person gave me the evil eye.
So there it
is; I am a rat. But this rat is on the
side of tired moms and the enemy of squeaky little people.
Cranky=1 Squeaky little person=0
ReplyDeleteWhat Joseph said. Good job.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Kids have to be held accountable.
ReplyDeleteYou potentially saved her from a life of crime :)
ReplyDeletebetty
I know if I was that mother I would sooooo appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteThat 'Crime Does Not Pay' lesson is one that Squeaky will eventually be grateful for having learned. Not to say that she, or anyone else, will ever thank you personally.
ReplyDeleteSo allow me - Thanks, Joe!
Perhaps you could devise a way of removing the temptation in the first place. Legally, of course.
ReplyDeleteExcellent work. You may have saved that child from a life of misery, because once they get away with it one time, they think they can again and again, and getting caught later brings worse consequences.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, that little one needed admonishing, for sure. I wonder though how often she pulls that trick. Glad you were around.
ReplyDeleteI would have ratted her out too :) The kid will thank you some day...actually, she probably wishes you'd get hit by a bus.
ReplyDeleteR
Thievery is one thing - that squeaking would drive me nuts. I look like a grammy and I AM a grammy, but no squeaking, please! Watch your back, Cranky!
ReplyDeleteGrasshopper, you done good.
ReplyDeleteYes, you did!!
DeleteI really cranky old man would have bought one of those candy bars and eaten it in front of her. I suspect you have a soft side, although I admit nasty unmanageable kids rattle my chain too.
ReplyDeletegood going!
ReplyDeleteActually proud of you. With just a cough, a nod and a wink and you saved that little squeaker from a possible life as a petty criminal. Who knows what it could have led to had she succeeded. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThat little girl is going to grow up and she's going to remember you. I hope she doesn't know where you live.
ReplyDeleteYou saved her from a life of crime! Candy bars today, truffles tomorrow...who knows where it will all end.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a cranky check-out line to raise a child.
ReplyDeletekids are sneaky little buggers! I'm rather glad you 'outed' her, but things could have got nasty if the mother had turned on you for interfering.At least now the child might think twice about taking candy again.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for stopping the little shoplifter!
ReplyDelete