STUPID HEADLINES 020716
It is time again for
 |
| They waffled a bit on the no adultery thing |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider,
sometimes sophomoric comments.
_______________________________
Coyotes staring down drivers may be high on mushrooms – Just
give them your potato chips and move on dude.
Up to 90 percent of US paper money
contains traces of cocaine – Well for God sake don’t give the coyotes any money, they’re
high enough.
Church reportedly tells 84-year-old woman she can't be buried next to her
husband – Well at least not while she’s still
breathing.
Student demands lifetime supply of Kit Kat bars after buying eight
lacking wafers – Demands? Or else what?
Former DA testifies Bill Cosby can't be prosecuted – The
DA made the announcement right after taking a few sips of medicinal tea that
was graciously offered by Mr. Cosby’s attorney.
Mississippi jury summons directs people to call sex hotline – Apparently they have a very different Voir dire process in Mississippi.
Bill Clinton Was On
Another Planet Last Night – Well they say men are from Mars, so I
assume Bill went to Venus.
North Korea sending balloons filled with cigarette butts into South Korea
– Meanwhile, South Korea is leaving flaming paper bags
of dog poop on the North Korean border.
Vagina Powerlifter Claims To Know The Secret Of Great Sex – You
just have to work on the snatch*.
Colo. Principal bans Peyton Manning jerseys, but Cam Newton gear is OK
–
“I
don’t understand that rule.”
Black
customers sue Denny’s for asking them to prepay for their meal – I’ve had several meals at Denny’s and have never been asked to prepay…probably because I’m old.
*The snatch is the
first of two lifts contested in the sport of weightlifting
_____________________________________
Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Burning bags of poop. If I had a nickel for every....
ReplyDeleteOkay, the Trump headline and your comment made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteUmm...vagina powerlifter? I learn something new every day!
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't the other half of the weightlifting events the "clean and jerk"? I never realized how racy weightlifting was before this. Thanks! ;)
Your take on things really makes my day. And I do love love love that Heinz commercial.
ReplyDeleteLove your spelling correction on the Trump headline. That's more like it and at least believable.
ReplyDeleteI love your comments to the headlines better than the headlines. I linked you to Silly Sunday.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
"Bill Clinton Was On Another Planet Last Night" Has to be false.
ReplyDeleteBill Clinton wouldn't leave Earth while there are still some women in in Siberia he hasn't slept with.
Do you know for sure he hasn't slept with them all?
DeleteGood point!
DeleteIf that student ends up getting a lifetime supply of Kit Kats, I'm taking the wafers out of one of mine and sue for the same!
ReplyDeleteReally, really disappointed in you that you did not get a Florida headline in there. Obviously you didn't hear about the woman who called the police to protect her goats from a serial rapist.
Don't blame Denny's! In college, after a late-night snack of breakfast food, my friends told me to go pull the car around, and they'd pay. They walked to the register behind an older couple (probably 30 at the time, heh, heh) and pretended they were all together. Once they got in the car, they commanded me: "Go! Let's get out of here!"
ReplyDeleteThus our new greeting, "Welcome to Denny's, don't pay for your meal."
It was not the last time I was used as a getaway driver. It's still on my conscience.
Your commentary - omg! I always have a hard time picking my fave - but this week it's the North Korea border shenanigans!
ReplyDelete