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Thursday, February 18, 2016

I Need A Left-over-Food Rule Book

I Need A Left-over-Food Rule Book
That’s it, I need some rules.  I have once again upset Mrs. Cranky by taking food that apparently I should not have taken.  Several weeks ago I mentioned that Mrs. C had hidden some brownies under a towel on the counter.

That was pretty clear.  She was claiming the brownies. I left them alone…well I may have taken one or two, but I wanted more.  A few days ago I found a half of a cornbread muffin in the kitchen and not hidden.  It went well with my nightly cup of coffee.

My wife hit the roof. 

“You took the half of a muffin?”

“Yes, it didn’t have your name on it and it wasn’t under a towel.”

“But I ate the first half, I was saving the second half for later and you don’t eat any muffins anymore for breakfast because of your-stay-away from bread and sugar diet.”

“I had it after dinner with my coffee.  I allow myself one splurge a day, a desert with my coffee.”

“But I had the first half!”

“OK, I didn’t know the rule.  Now I know, if it is under a towel or if it is a half of a left over from your breakfast it is off limits.”

A few days later, I noticed two muffins in the dining room wrapped in cellophane.  I had to ask:

“Ah excuse me, why are there two muffins in the dining room?  Are you hiding them and are they off limits?”

“How did you see them, you never go in the dining room?”

“Answer the question.”

“Yes, they are off limits.”

So now I know; if food is under a towel, half eaten, or in the dining room when it belongs in the kitchen, it is off limits.

Last night I looked for something to have with my coffee.  In the refrigerator, there was one last slice of chocolate cake that had been untouched for three days.  Now chocolate is not my favorite, but I will eat it if it is the only game in town.

Mrs. C came home from work at around 10pm and apparently after several days of not touching the last piece of cake she had decided it would hit the spot.

“What happened to the piece of cake? Did you eat it?”


“But you don’t like chocolate.”

“I like it, it just isn’t my favorite, and that piece has been gathering refrigerator dust for a week.”

“I was planning on having it tonight…JERK!

So now I know, if food is under a towel, half eaten, in the dining room when it belongs in the kitchen, or is chocolate, it is off limits.

There must be more rules.  I wish she would just print out a list.


  1. I share my house with a cat.
    I don't understand the rules, either

  2. What the heck? do you live there, or not? What's with all the food claiming?

  3. I KNOW there are 3 Cadburys cream eggs in SD's work bag. I also know that SD's Mum gave them to him so that he, Miss Mac and myself could have one each. I know this because last week SD's Mum gave three cream eggs to me and I put them in the cupboard but when SD hadn't eaten his by Thursday I ate it. He didn't mention the egg so I figured he didn't know about it. I'm begining to suspect I was wrong. I'm not sure what to do now - technically I don't know about the hidden eggs because well, it's SD's bag and I have no reason to be looking in there BUT ... If I just ate one he can't really say anything without admitting he was hiding the eggs can he??

  4. It all sounds very complicated! I think labels and padlocks is the answer.

  5. I think here the rule is whoever actually puts it into the shopping cart, that is who it belongs to when it comes to snacks and sweets. However, I have been known, since I try to stay away from snacks and sweets, to occasionally sample this or that; but then I usually come clean and tell him what I've consumed of his. Thankfully our tastes on things like this are not similar so they don't tempt me, but that chocolate cake would have indeed been tempting.


  6. Following Mrs Cranky's rules you should be healthy and very slim in no time. Everything that looks like a tasty snack is hers - that's the rule.

  7. I don't think she wants you to eat . . . ANYthing.

  8. This is so easy to figure out. She doesn't want it until you eat it and then she wants it. You're a bit slow on this one Cranky and that's so unlike you.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  9. It seems you have been given a no bad food diet, and you are not following it.

  10. Be careful what you wish for--she just might print out that list.

  11. Think Barb nailed it. If it looks good it is not yours.

  12. Ask her to write the list by hand, not on the computer. Then you could honestly say you didn't understand what she wrote!!

  13. How's this for a rule -- go to the store and buy your desserts for a week, bring them home and label them, and tell her they are off limits.

  14. I have a feeling that list would be long and complicated!

    Don't you do the grocery shopping? The stores are filled with goodies like muffins and cakes and cookies!

  15. I'll have to side with Mrs. C on this one.

    I don't know what makes you guys think you can just help yourselves to any food you find in your house! If you didn't ask for it, and it's not one of the staples, then IT'S NOT FOR YOU! That's a pretty simple rule. There's nothing preventing you from putting treats for yourself on the list, or going to the store to buy them...

    What kind of person eats half of somebody's leftover muffin? You raised a ruckus over not wanting leftover water, so Mrs. C thought her half-muffin was safe.

  16. Apparently, in your house, there is only one rule.
    Do Not touch Any Food that isn't handed to you by Mrs Cranky and even then ask before eating it.
    I think she's going over the top a bit by suddenly wanting the three day old cake. As for hiding the other stuff, why doesn't she just tell you it's hers?

  17. I have a "claimer" in my house. She wraps and labels. On the flip side, my husband says, "leave the last slice for me, please" when there is practically a whole cake. Who remembers to leave him a slice! I hide. Right now, I have my own personal stash of cookies hidden in a zipped lunch tote in the cabinet. I see that we're not the only nutty family.

  18. Well, she's looking out for your health and welfare. I say, go ahead and bake yourself a batch of brownies and set your own rules.


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