Yoo Hoo Brew Ha Ha
One of the
things about marriage that baffles me is how each spouse wants small tasks
preformed exactly as they would do them.
Mrs. C is particularly guilty of this infraction. If I brush my teeth up and down, she insists
I should back and forth it. No matter
how I load the dishwasher it is the wrong way.
I fluff my pillows wrong; I turn the lights on too high…unless I turn
them on too low. I channel surf wrong
and I watch the wrong shows, even when she is not watching TV.
Wrong, btw, is anything not how she would do it. When
confronted with the error of my ways I always ask her how does she think I
survive when she is not around. She
always responds back, “I have no idea!”
Today we
were both in the kitchen, never a good thing as there are so many things to do “wrong”
in the kitchen. She asked,
“Can you reach in the fridge and get
me a Yoo Hoo.”
I often have
trouble finding things in the fridge, but I knew where the Yoo Hoo was because I
saw some of those little sippy boxes in the vegetable drawer just the other day
(I agree…I didn’t put them there.) As I
pulled out the drawer and reached for a box,
“Why are you getting the box from
there, there are several boxes on the shelf right at eye level?”
“Is there a difference?”
“The Yoo Hoo’s on the shelf are for
now, they are easy to reach, the Yoo Hoo’s in the drawer are back up Yoo Hoo’s.”
I handed her
the “drawer” Yoo Hoo. “This Yoo Hoo is just as good, and I didn’t see
the others.”
“Maybe, but it is still the wrong Yoo
Hoo; and how can you not see the eye level boxes?”
“You are a pip!”
As she poked
the straw in the box I had to comment on how she drank the Yoo Hoo.
“Don’t sip, you never get all the
drink out of the box, you lose air pressure and you cannot suck the last bit of
Yoo Hoo. You should blow air into the
box, and then the Yoo Hoo just flows on its own up the straw and you get all of
it with no effort.”
“I tilt it back and around so the
remaining drink is in the corner and it is easy to get it.”
“You do it wrong!”
“You’re a JERK!”
“When you throw it away, push the straw
in and crumble the box up so it takes less room in the garbage.”
“I don’t crumble it, I undo the flaps
and it flattens out, taking up less room than crumbling.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“Once again, you’re a JERK!”
Actually her
way to toss the box is better, but she drinks the Yoo Hoo wrong.
I'm beginning to see the way to success in a marriage is to be able to criticise each other relentlessly. Perhaps I got divorced because I didn't care which method hubby #1 used to get things done, as long as things got done. Hubby #2? Well, he said leave it to me, you do enough at work. So I left it to him, but he didn't do it either. Do What? you say. Anything I say.
ReplyDeleteI should learn how to argue and criticise.
Maybe she's a liquor liqueur industry shill? ;)
ReplyDeleteYoo Hoo from a box?!?!
ReplyDeleteOh the humanity...
(Yes, we got it in bottles when we were young.)
I don't think I have ever had a Yoo Hoo. Might have mentioned it before, but hubby didn't like the way I squeezed the toothpaste; I do it in the middle, he does it at the bottom. We have had separate tubes for years and married 35 years :)
ReplyDeletebetty
Don't hate me but I have to try that blowing air into the box. Never heard of that one.
ReplyDeleteyou wrote so interestingly all story Joeh , i got married with a man who completely was stranger to me, in beginning we had lots of tiny differences at almost everything ,seven years at one point i thought that we cannot live with each other ,then it was a coincidence that i had to go and stay with my mom because she was alone and needed me,
ReplyDeletei started job there and in those four years while i was away from my husband things were sort out and i realized that i love that man and want to spend rest of my life with him,so when my sister got back to mom to look after her i decided to get back to my home,
now things were changed it is not that we never fought again ,of course we did but we never quit dialogue ,we promised to each other that whenever one of us will be in the mood of argue the other will try his best to stay calm and let it go, by the time it worked and now since almost ten years we don't even argue ,each passing day is bringing us more close to each other ,
I hope nothing big ever happens around your house because there would be anarchy. I love how the two of you interact over stuff that amounts to nothing. It keeps you entertained and I'm very sure you both enjoy this banter.
ReplyDeleteHubby and I both agree that there isn't really a wrong or right way, there is just the way we each do things.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
I've never had a YooHoo, but I bet I'd make a booboo if I had to do what you do.
ReplyDelete"MeeHee for YooHoo, It's Yogi Berra's favorite drink."
DeleteThat jingle still haunts me, now you comment may replace it.
I've never had a Yoo Hoo. I'm quite certain I'd drink it wrong.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are hilarious, I love it.
ReplyDeleteHi Cranky.
ReplyDeleteSomebody once said to me:
"All women, without exception, are mad!"
I wonder whether it's true.
:o)
Cheers
PM
I can't imagine wanting a Yoohoo let alone caring how one has to be drunk or smashed. I never load the dishwasher "right," but I have stopped caring if my husband has the need to rearrange it.
ReplyDeleteHow can either one of you continue to live with a person who drinks their Yoo Hoo wrong?
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you're talking about a box of YooHoo, and not a box of wine...
ReplyDeleteShe must love being married to a jerk. Also, there is no wrong way to load a dishwasher, just throw it all in there. That's the rule at my house. When it's time to run it, i sort it out to make sure all of it will come clean, but up to that moment, you can't do it wrong.
ReplyDeleteMy husband squeezes the toothpaste tube like betty. I have no idea how he will ever cope if I die before him. Of course, if he dies before me I won't ever be able to watch TV since I don't know how to turn it on...
ReplyDelete