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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

AD I’D LIKE TO SEE

AD I’D LIKE TO SEE

TV ads for new products always show the pain and inconvenience of doing things without their new wonder product.  Crack an egg to make breakfast, and the shell ends up in the omelet.  Grandma bites into it, breaks a tooth, stands up in pain, trips over her walker, falls, and she can’t get up.

“You need the handy easy to use ‘Eggyout’!  Yes, a handy kitchen tool for safely cracking an egg.  No more wasted eggs and shells in your food, it will pay for itself. You also won’t need that medical emergency panic button around Grandma’s neck. Only $9.95, order now and get a second ‘Eggyout’ free.”  Simply pay separate shipping and handling $7.95.
Reach into the cabinet for that plastic container and fifty two containers and lids of various sizes and shapes tumble out. The bowl of leftovers you are holding flies into the air, you slip on the lettuce, break your coccyx and you can’t get up.

“You need ‘Tupperguard’.  Yes ‘Tupperguard’ is a safety net which attaches easily to your cabinets and opens with the doors to trap those dangerous falling objects.  Only $9.95 you will save more than that on Doctor bills alone.  You also won’t need that medical emergency panic button around your neck. Only $9.95, order now and get a second ‘Tupperguard’ free.” Simply pay separate shipping and handling $7.95.
Here is a million dollar product and the million dollar ad I’d like to see:

Scene 1.  Three men lined up side by side facing the urinals in the men’s room.   Zip, Zip, Zip….  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH….  Three men hopping in pain, a narrator’s voice declares, “Dingus caught again? Wow that hurts.  Get ‘Zippoclear’.  ‘Zippoclear’ is a plastic sheath which fits in your draws and prevents DZG, or Dingus Zipper Grab.  Easy to install, held in place by Velcro, ‘Zippoclear’ not only prevents DZG but enhances that certain area which so attracts the ladies.”

Scene 2. The three men walk out a restaurant, arm in arm with googol eyed models, as all female patron’s heads turn admiring the obvious bulges.
Scene 3.  Three men lined up side by side facing the urinals in the men’s room.   Zip, Zip, Zip….AH, AH, AH.  “YES ‘Zippoclear’, no more DZG”

Scene 4.  Quick pan to a beautiful model, “And I love it too!”

Narrator: “’Zippoclear’ Only $9.95 you will save more than that on Doctor Bills alone.  You also won’t need that medical emergency panic button around your neck.  Order now and get a second ‘Zippoclear’ for free.”  Simply pay separate shipping and handling $7.95.

6 comments:

  1. Love your style Cranky! Is Zippo Clear promotions on the blog because of a recent experience? Inquiring minds don't really want to know so forget I asked.

    The Tupperware net is not needed if you had listened to me about filling the dishwasher.

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  2. Cranky - S says you have way too much times on your hands and asked me to send you this link from YouTube - its an English advert that was banned, you will see why - Enjoy! :-)

    http://youtu.be/QSKL3ohnr3A

    Lou.....& S

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  3. How much do I NEED a Tupperguard!!

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  4. hello. I am a new follower from the blog hop.
    Can you please follow me back?

    http://countryliving-productreviews.blogspot.com

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  5. Oh my gosh this made me laugh -- you are so funny. Where do you come up with this stuff? Real life situations, I'm sure. And I'd like to say that I understand and that I feel your pain, but I just don't. Sorry. Never been there, done that. Just as you've never given birth, there are just some things we cannot relate to. Right? Right!

    By the way, I don't think I'll ever look at the Cowardly Lion quite the same way again. From now on that look on his face will always make me think of what's happening below. Thanks for giving me that image.

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  6. Lou, are you sure that's a real ad? That's Lee Mack and Tim Vine. When I saw you'd put that, I thought you were linking to the Banned Nando's ad :P Whatever it is, it's funny.

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I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

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