THE ROMANTIC MAN
I was never a ladies’ man. I dated when I was young, and I’ve been married three times, but I was never a ladies’ man. Some guys just have a way that charms the ladies. They can be the bad boys, they can be inappropriate, they can be obnoxious, but they somehow have the looks and the twinkle in the eye that lets them get away with bad behavior and still the ladies are interested.
I have known many such guys. I was never that guy; until I became “The Romantic Man.” (Pronounced Romon’tic Mon.)
“The Romantic Man” was a character, a persona I would occasionally adopt at parties. I’m not sure where this character came from, I think maybe “Saturday Night Live” though I have not seen him on any reruns. “Romantic Man” was overly flirtatious. He had a Ricardo Montalban accent. He was inappropriate. He was harmless. The ladies loved “Romantic Man.”
At a party, after a few cocktails, I would be approached by a lady.
“Hi Joe, how are you?”
“Not Joe, I am… ‘Romon’tic Mon’; and you know, I find you to be very beautiful.”
“Oh thank you Romantic Man.”
“You know, if you don’t mind me saying so, please do not take the offence, but you know your ass, it is very beautiful; very how you say…sexy. You and I, we could make the music beautiful no?”
“Oh Romantic Man, but I am married so it could never be.”
“Pity, but if you were ever to leave this man of yours, remember always, the ‘Romon’tic Mon’.”
It was always all in good fun, everyone knew the Romantic Man was
I learned that this was the “Players” secret. Lay it on thick, but act harmless. It gives a woman the chance to laugh you off with no hurt feelings no insulting indignation and still have her ego massaged; or she can flirt right back, still in a joking mode. Of course, the trick is to behave not with the “Romon’tic Mon” persona, but with a little of the “Romon’tic Mon” attitude.
Even with this new insight, I could never become a ladies’ man; it was and is not really in me. I did have fun as the “Romon’tic Mon.” Why you ask am I using the past tense? The “Romon’tic Mon” is no more. He was destroyed by vicious lady who called him out on his bluff.
“Come ‘Romon’tic Mon’, come with me upstairs, I will show you my beautiful ass.”
“Oy vey, ah…er… well, I don’t know, oy I’m fashugana!”
“Romon’tic Mon” became “Little Old Yiddisha Man” flustered and scared.”
“Romon’tic Mon” was destroyed; “Romon’tic Mon” is dead.
You know who you are….. Julia DiGi.
sounds like you grew up, joe. LOLReplyDelete
I think its fab to have a bit of fun every now and then, and like you say this was a persona you adapted that it would seem allowed you to be your alter-ego without upsetting anyone...Pity Julia DiGi wasn't big enough to allow you to have your fun...ReplyDelete
Oh Romontic Mon...I really just wanted to show you how much I appreciated your attention. Had I known it would render you...well...Yiddish..I would have let you admire my ass indefinitely! Like you Romantic Mon, I have never been a "man killer" as you were not a lady killer. My deepest apologies to Romontic Mon and to the rest of the women in the world who had a great ass for him to admire. ;)ReplyDelete
JH, very interesting...ReplyDelete
I've definitely met a few Romontic men in my time! Nothing wrong with a bit of a flirt :-)ReplyDelete
Lol! A few wines and I'm sure Romontic Mon will find a way to reappear :)ReplyDelete
Romontic Mon sounds like fun! He can come to one of my parties.ReplyDelete
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Heh, heh! I think you found the formula for the "Romontic Mon". I'd have probably flirted with such a "Romontic Mon". Too bad the tables were turned on you. How dare she ruin your fun! I guess you should take credit for having the "goods"...at least for Julia DIGI. ;-)ReplyDelete
At least you were able to put on a persona for a while, even if your bluff was quite spectacularly called!ReplyDelete
"Lay it on thick but act harmless" It's a universal tactic but I think you've articulated it perfectly, Romontic Mon.ReplyDelete
I'm sure he could still appear every now and again, just for old times sake ;)ReplyDelete