HEADLINES 012912
This week’s goofy headlines and my stupid sophomoric comments.
Occupiers’ Throw Bibles, Allegedly Urinate on Cross – The "Ninety-nine percent" protesters are upset that there is only one son of God.
Costa Cruises says it has not offered Concordia guests discounts on future trips – Cruise Line says they are sorry already, they made a mistake, but surviving passengers are just being greedy expecting a discount for future cruises. President of the Line also stated, “Hell, we already refunded passengers for the unfinished portion of their last trip.”
Divers find large, unexplained object at bottom of Baltic Sea – Huge object has scientists baffled.
Director Michael Moore goes on snorkeling vacation in the Baltic Sea- Hmmmm
Low IQ & Conservative Beliefs Linked to Prejudice – As someone who is not too bright and is also a conservative, I find this to be very offensive. I suspect this study was done by Pollocks, Kikes, Spicks, Chinks, Ragheads, Dotheads, or Niggers!
Pennsylvania school district bans fur-lined boots – How do these kids expect to learn with warm feet?
Picture of Snoozing Sub Gets Student Suspended – Student apologizes for waking substitute teacher with camera flash.
Justice Department launches unit to probe mortgage-backed securities – Also forms a commission looking into the Lindberg kidnapping.
Canadian dwarf-tossing contest stirs controversy – Instant replay clearly shows dwarf landed inbounds.
Jobless man builds a house out of $1.82 billion worth of shredded money – Not the brightest bulb in the lamp, unemployed short order cook Robert Trionbo declared, “I may be broke, but I’m not homeless!”
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