Wednesday, August 3, 2016
BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP, THE HORN WENT BEEP BEEP BEEP
I need to report Mrs. C for spousal abuse.
People go to jail for leaving their pet in a hot cat with the windows all up. Leave a child in a locked car and you will do time for sure. There must be a penalty for leaving your elderly husband locked in the car with the windows rolled up on a hot summer day.
That’s what Mrs. C did to me tonight. Coming home from dinner she tells me she is going to stop at the grocery store for a few items. Not a problem, Mrs. C can do a store in-and-out faster than most would think humanly possible.
She left me in the car and took the keys because (so she claims) the preferred grocery card is on the key chain and she saves money with this card. So I am left alone without a key to listen to the radio or open a window.
Before long it starts to get really hot and it is hard to breath.
I’m thinking “do I have less rights than a child, or a dog. Hell no,” and I decide to step out of the car to wait.
BEEP… BEEP…BEEP Horns go off, lights go on, and people are looking at me climbing out of the car, only they are thinking I am trying to climb into the car. I shrug and hold up my hands to proclaim my innocence. I feel like Nixon, “I am not a crook!”
After three minutes the horns stop honking and the lights stop flashing and I am still waiting for Mrs. C who is taking way longer than her usual quick store in-and-out. Now I am getting bored and decide to open the car door and get at my cell phone
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…here we go again.
Three more minutes of trying to not look like a thief and finally Mrs. C comes out and hits the button to stop the madness.
“WTF, why would you lock me in the car and take the key?”
“I guess I locked it out of habit, and I needed the key for the Shop-Rite discount card.”
“Oh, terrific, I’m left in a hot car, your lucky this did not end up on News 12 tonight…how much money did the card save you?”
“Seven cents? Is that all I’m worth, seven cents?”
“You’re a jerk!”