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Wednesday, August 3, 2016

BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP, THE HORN WENT BEEP BEEP BEEP


BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP, THE HORN WENT BEEP BEEP BEEP



I need to report Mrs. C for spousal abuse. 
People go to jail for leaving their pet in a hot cat with the windows all up.  Leave a child in a locked car and you will do time for sure.  There must be a penalty for leaving your elderly husband locked in the car with the windows rolled up on a hot summer day.
That’s what Mrs. C did to me tonight.  Coming home from dinner she tells me she is going to stop at the grocery store for a few items.  Not a problem, Mrs. C can do a store in-and-out faster than most would think humanly possible. 
She left me in the car and took the keys because (so she claims) the preferred grocery card is on the key chain and she saves money with this card.  So I am left alone without a key to listen to the radio or open a window. 
Before long it starts to get really hot and it is hard to breath.
I’m thinking “do I have less rights than a child, or a dog.  Hell no,” and I decide to step out of the car to wait.
BEEP… BEEP…BEEP Horns go off, lights go on, and people are looking at me climbing out of the car, only they are thinking I am trying to climb into the car.  I shrug and hold up my hands to proclaim my innocence.  I feel like Nixon, “I am not a crook!”
After three minutes the horns stop honking and the lights stop flashing and I am still waiting for Mrs. C who is taking way longer than her usual quick store in-and-out.  Now I am getting bored and decide to open the car door and get at my cell phone
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…here we go again.
Three more minutes of trying to not look like a thief and finally Mrs. C comes out and hits the button to stop the madness.
“WTF, why would you lock me in the car and take the key?”
“I guess I locked it out of habit, and I needed the key for the Shop-Rite discount card.”
“Oh, terrific, I’m left in a hot car, your lucky this did not end up on News 12 tonight…how much money did the card save you?”
“Seven cents.”
“Seven cents?  Is that all I’m worth, seven cents?”
“You’re a jerk!”

21 comments:

  1. At least you were able to open the door and escape, which pets can't do. I always love the way you can squeeze a fun story out of most anything--the mark of a good writer.

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  2. 7 cents? She's lucky you are still talking to her! LOL!

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  3. In this case Mrs C is the jerk! Seven lousy cents? Tsk.

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  4. Maybe she was afraid you would lock her out. Lol. This happen to me once when I left the key in the car and my husband was having a hard time getting the door to unlock and it was pouring down rain.

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  5. Good thing no one noticed you in the car before you stepped out. I could see the police being called to make a safety check on you. It is amazing how fast a car get heat up like that.

    betty

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  6. I'm glad you made it. Y'all should go do something nice with that seven cents.

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  7. I've never heard of leaving your spouse in a locked rig. I believe I would of turn on on every light and sat on the rig until my other half came out. In hope the battery was dead and start a fight with him.
    Coffee is on

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  8. Heh, heh! You are the 7-Cent Husband! At least I used to be the 5-Dollar Daughter.

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  9. That's what I call a living nightmare. It happened to me once but fortunately hubby was only a few feet away, near enough to spot me frantically waving. It was a rainy day ... fortunately.

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  10. Yes, i've waited in the hot car, and had the alarm go off. It's not fun, but you survived, so did i. Next time, take the card off of the key ring and keep the keys.

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  11. Car alarms don't seem to be worth the hassle. I would have lost my mind in your situation,

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  12. Seven cents is seven cents. Too funny. I love your life and thank you for sharing it with us.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  13. I'm surprised anyone paid attention to the car alarm!!

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  14. .... and THIS is why I always have a key to every car in the family on me at all times!! Cause I'm a jerk as well.

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  15. I can see your tombstone now." He was worth every bit of the seven cents."
    Think you have a beef this time:))

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  16. Mrs. C is lucky I wasn't nearby, because I would have SAVED you by smashing a brick through the car window...like any caring citizen would do!!!

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  17. The Seven Cent Solution. Wasn't that a Sherlock Holmes story. Oh, wait. I think that was the Seven PER-Cent Solution. Oh, well, I liked your story, too.

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  18. Seven cents? Is that after your 2016 inflation adjustment? ๐Ÿ˜

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  19. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Omgosh.. I can't stop laughing!!! SEVEN WHOLE CENTS!!!!! Hahahahahahaha!

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  20. Hi Cranky,

    I think I'm worth less than that - certainly in the eyes of my cats.

    :o)

    Cheers

    PM

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