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Saturday, May 29, 2021

STUPID HEADLINES 053021

 

STUPID HEADLINES 053021



 Tesla shorts are having a much, much better year than in 2020 – Cars, rockets, tunnel digging machines and now shorts?  Does it take a genius to make shorts?  What…oh selling stock short…never mind.

Alabama lifts 27-year yoga ban in public schools – Finally you allowed to do downward facing dog for 27 years.

Japanese bullet train driver takes bathroom break as train cruises at 90 mph – Whizzing while whizzing.

Kim Jong Un bans mullets, skinny jeans – Because the mullet is a stupid funny looking hairstyle.  And skinny jeans, because they’re skinny!



Anti-mullet anti skinny

Cougar breaks into Washington man's home, passes out in kitchen – Older women these days…shameful…what, a REAL cougarnever mind.

Maryland candy store is selling chocolate-covered cicadas: 'Inundated with orders' – I think the orders are “PLEASE STOP!!” Those things are disgusting.

Utah woman's headstone has her fudge recipe engraved on the back – The best used-by date is EXPIRED.

Kate Middleton receives COVID vaccine – And this is news because?

Doctors afraid of losing license, being sued if they don't affirm patient self-diagnosis on gender – I’m confused by this gender stuff…does being sued mean going from a Bob to Sue?

Baltimore students who failed classes this year will still pass – They also get a small plastic trophy and a juice box!

 

FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

After scouring the internet for several days, I regret that there are no Feel-Good news stories this week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 comments:

  1. Of course there are no feel good stories. They are rarely reported and usually at the end of the news when most people have fallen asleep. Loved the first headline. Death is pretty much at a ratio of 100%. One out one people will die. The moment we are born we are doomed to die. The irony (for me) will be if I die of Covid :)

    betty

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  2. The thought of seeing Kim Jong Un in skinny jeans does horrible things to my mental health. Once upon a time a doctor told me that obesity was increasing my chance of death. I replied that I was under the assumption that the mortality rate among humans was 100%. The next week I received a letter asking me to find a different doctor.

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  3. My vote is for the "Used Date Expired" -- that's where we're all headed since death is the top killer.

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  4. Yikes, no feel good stories? That makes me as depressed as the poor fool who gets addicted to chocolate-covered cicadas only to learn they can't have them again for 17 years

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  5. Now i'm going to go look up that cougar story, i just want to know what in the world the cat passed out from.

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  6. That Alabama yoga law DOES however ban the use of any Hindu words, like chanting Ommmmmmm.

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  7. I venture to speculate that fans of Kate who are not yet vaccinated for whatever reason might now decide to copy her and that would be a good thing.

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  8. Heh, heh! My 13-year-old self enjoyed the "whizzing while whizzing!"

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  9. I don't listen to the news anymore and this is why. A bunch of idiots reporting what they are told to report.

    Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. ☺

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  10. Chocolate covered Cicadas, eeeew. Not for me thanks. So gross. We have perfectly good food to eat why would a person want to eat bugs???

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  11. it's been a year almost we are not listening news dear Joe ,,hubby strolls on internet if he hear something is needed to know .

    if they start to present news the way you i will think about it :)
    the train one was depressing who was holding the steering while meanwhile ,kidding :)

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