Stupid Headlines 042521
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments
U.S. House of Representatives approves cannabis banking bill – Why would someone want to put their pot in a bank?
Burger King drive-thru workers trick drunk driver into waiting for police – Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, the driver’s so drunk we’re just fed up, take him a-way from Burger King.
Taco Bell testing vegan meat alternative – Vegan meat? Is that anything like jumbo shrimp?
Creature lurking in tree terrorizing Poland town turns out to be a croissant stuck in a tree – It took three people to remove it, one to hold the croissant, two to chop down the tree.
Trained dogs can smell coronavirus in your pee – So no swab, just pee on a pup?
Short sleep contributes to greater dementia risk, study suggests – Or dementia keeps you awake…one of those…the study isn’t sure. How helpful is that?
Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years, getting paid full salary – Ah yeah, I’ve got a sore throat and a slight fever, so I’m going to have to call in sick for, oh…about 15 years!
Man hurls rabid bobcat after it attacks him and his wife – Wife was fortunate her husband was a former Olympic Bobcat Hurler.
Oklahoma passes a law that can protect drivers who run over protesters – Well that should cut down on protests.
Caitlyn Jenner announces run for governor of California – If you were to tell me years ago, someone would run for Governor of California, that was once an Olympic gold medal winner, I’d have said you’re crazy!
Feel-good Story of the Week
I love this one!
Shaquille O’Neil Hall of Fame Basketball player
Shaq was out shopping when he saw a man buying an engagement ring – then he bought it for him - This man is special, an extra successful athlete, businessman and personality…he is also a really nice person.
Shaq said the man buying the ring was a "young kid, a hardworking guy"
and the ring was on layaway. "I said, 'You know what, tell your girlfriend I got it.
Take care of her.' And at first, he didn't want to take it,"
Shaq said. He told the man not to worry, he does it all the time.