Stupid Headlines 041121
This
week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
Biden
leans close to tell someone to socially distance – Classic do as I say, not as I do!
Friend of
Pakistani immigrant Uber Eats driver killed in DC: 'All lives are precious' – I don’t ordinarily post and comment
on stories like this, but sometimes a headline really demands punctuation.
Miami
homeowner gets sister, companion evicted from front porch after they squatted
for 2 years – I’m
surprised they could move at all; I need help to get up after squatting only a
few minutes.
Katy
Perry reveals she's stopped shaving her legs since becoming a mom – I guess that is one form of birth
control.
Japan
just recorded its earliest cherry blossom bloom in 1,200 years – I’m pretty sure there was an earlier
bloom April 1247.
Rare
Super Mario Bros. game sells for a record $660,000 – Wait until this donkey tries to find
a Nintendo platform that can still play the damn game.
Unseen
Vincent van Gogh painting of Paris sells for $15.4M – Hell, for that money you could buy
23 Super Mario Bros. games!
New York
lowers bear and deer hunting age to 12 – I am surprised that deer or bear live that long.
Massachusetts
home where Lizzie Borden's parents were killed finds buyer – The buyer put down four-hundred
thousand forty- four and on closing paid four-hundred thousand more.
A
Michigan university is offering college students a scholarship to study
cannabis – Good
luck weeding out the weed candidates; or
they could just survey 93% of their student body.
FEEL GOOD STORY
Teen on
spring break trip rescues toddler from drowning – The thirteen-year-old girl on
vacation with her family saved a tragedy.
https://www.wfla.com/news/teen-on-spring-break-trip-to-disney-world-rescues-toddler-from-drowning/
I have never shaved my legs!!! But trim my beard every now and then.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Wait. . . if the Van Gogh painting is unseen, how do they know it's a painting of Paris?
ReplyDeleteWow! I want to be like Katy Perry. Don't think Jim would be happy though.
ReplyDeleteMe too, that sister in Miami must really be limber. That tickled me.
ReplyDeleteHeh,heh! I like the 2-year squatters, and the Lizzie Borden home-buyer paying more when he saw what he had done.
ReplyDeleteThanks for these...they are one of the high points of my week! Ok, yeah, that's sad :D
ReplyDeleteFunny as always, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWe had an anesthesiologist who would always tell patients to take a deep breath when they were waking up. Then he would say in a funny accent: "You must breathe or you die!" It was much funnier if you were there I guess! Sometimes he would yell to take a deep breath but it would sound like he was saying something about big breasts..but that's another story.
ReplyDeleteLove your takes on these headlines. I remember hearing on the news once an interviewer asking and old lady on her 100th birthday, "What is the secret to a long life?" She replied: "keep breathing"
ReplyDelete