I Am Sorry

 

I Am Sorry

A cranky opinion by way of an apology for

Cranky Opinion Friday

 

I am sorry. 

I did not mean what I said.  I spoke too quickly and without thinking.  I now realize that words have consequences and I probably hurt many people very deeply.  It was the furthest thing from my intent.  It is not who I am. 

I am sorry.

I need to take some time off to reflect on my words and to understand that I have faults and I have not been properly educated on the seriousness of the situation.  I plan to enroll in courses that will enlighten me.  I need to be retaught.  I need to learn to think more correctly and to be more aware and sensitive to the feelings of others.

I believe much of the fault lies in my earliest years.  I learned to read from Dr. Seuss. I grew up loving trees and music and animals.  I was taught old math.  I learned to write first in longhand, then script and finally in cursive which has led to my confusion.  I grew up without Sesame Street.  Instead, I watched a puppet who had an animal skin wearing sidekick and featured a fake Native American Princess.  In my world as a young impressionable child, doctors, judges and politicians were all men…white men.  Women were nurturers.  They were nurses, elementary school teachers, secretaries and moms.

In school I was forced to affirm my love for this country…every day.  Some years I was even forced to read from the bible in school.  I was taught that George Washington was a great man, Abe Lincoln was honest, Jefferson was fair and Franklin was wise. I was instructed to believe that our country was great, it was special, the Constitution was special and Capitalism was good.  I did learn that the country was not perfect; slavery was very bad, and we forced our ways on Native Americans and usurped their land claims. I knew that some people needed help through no fault of their own, but there was little emphasis on governments responsibility to provide that help.

I grew up believing that if you were born a boy, you became a man.  If you were born a girl, you became a woman.  I did not know there was a choice.  There were no gay people, only confirmed bachelors and spinsters; no one told me about closets.  Doctors said that smoking was good for you, alcohol was encouraged, gambling was illegal and marijuana made you insane.

None of this is a valid excuse.  I should know better.  I am not a good person.  I will try and be better.

Please accept this preemptive apology for any offense you may feel I have committed, or I undoubtedly will eventually commit.

I should know better.

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 [O1]