"WHY DON’T YOU EVER LISTEN?"
The other
day I was in my basement cave. I was
watching Judge Judy, and practicing on my guitar. Both the washing machine and the dryer were
running in the adjacent laundry room.
“JOSEPH…JOSEPH!!”
It is never
good when Mrs. C calls me Joseph. It is never
good when any woman calls you by your given name. When my mom was upset she would call by my
whole given name, middle name included.
For some reason, when women are angry they use your proper name.
Anyway.
“JOSEPH!!”
“What? Are you all right? Why are you
yelling?”
“Why don’t you listen? I have been calling your name for two
minutes, can’t you hear me?”
“Evidently not. It is noisy down here, the TV is on, the
washing machine is on, the dryer is on, and I’m practicing guitar.”
“Well you should still be able to
hear me for crispy sake, I have been yelling.”
“Well I can’t hear you. Why do you
get angry because I can’t hear you? If I
was blind would you get angry at me for bumping into stuff?”
“You are not blind and you are not
deaf, you just don’t listen.”
“I am listening. I am listening to the TV, I am listening to
the washing machine, I am listening to the dryer and I am listening to my
guitar.”
“Well then you should also listen to
me! You can hear me now, you could hear
me if you would just listen, you never listen.”
“So when I am listening to the TV,
the washing machine the dryer and my guitar I should also be listening for you,
even though you are not saying anything?”
“Yes!”
“So at all times, I should be
listening to see if you are talking?
What am I, on call? Do I need to
be ever vigilant in case you suddenly decide to say something from another floor
of the house?”
“You’re a jerk!”
“Well now you have my attention, what the hell do you want from me that
is so gol damn important that I need to be on call 24/7?”
RT- I am pretty sure that it is correct
to say “That is so important” not “that am so important.” Who the heck be program Microsoft grammar check?
"I wanted to know what you wanted me to make for
dinner, and to remind you we need to eat early if you don’t want to miss 'Gold Rush'
tonight. You know, your favorite show, the show that I hate
but I never complain about when you watch it every Friday."
“Oh…ah chicken…and yes on the early…thank
you!...Sorry.”
Oh, I think I want one of those signs. I usually answer with "bla bla bla" whenever my lovely wife talked to me from some room where I'm not. My hearing is starting to diminish as it is, I don't know what she thinks. Best to just not answer. Ever.
ReplyDelete*talks*. All grammar mistakes are not quite intentional.
ReplyDeleteHubby does not listen to me and I find I have to repeat myself. I am blaming it on the fact that he is not interested in what I have to say rather than he is getting older and finding it hard to concentrate and remember stuff. The latter is not fun.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she needs to resort to texting you when you are downstairs out of her voice range.
ReplyDeletebetty
Good idea.
Deleteoh, you two!!!
ReplyDeleteYou have a very interesting home. You two have a funny way of having conversations. It usually ends up with you being called a jerk too.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I wouldn't have taken you for a fellow Judge Judy fan. I love watching her, although I'd probably crap my pants and stutter terribly if I ever appeared before her.
ReplyDeleteMy Mrs. C. is always saying things to me when she doesn't have my attention. Later, when I've failed to act on whatever it is she said, I ask her what I was doing when she spoke to me. Really, am I supposed to just sit around and wait for her to give me a chore? Heck no! At least she hasn't called me a "jerk" yet.
EXACTLY!!
DeleteI'm accused of this all the time...seems she never talks to me EXCEPT for when I am doing something or watching or reading something...and then I'm "a jerk" as well.
ReplyDeleteSelective hearing. You guys are born with a special gene. Unlike us. The ladies who must monitor every child's breathing from three rooms away, talk on the phone to our friends for hours, and hear the slightest criticism of ourselves from the low mutterances of you guys.
ReplyDeleteI have gotten angry at my husband too, for not listening on purpose.
ReplyDeleteI have "convenient deafness". My dad taught me well. :)
ReplyDeleteSo she wants to know what you want for dinner TONIGHT so you won't be late to watch your favorite FRIDAY show, Gold Rush? Isn't tonight Thursday?
I think I wrote this post several weeks ago. May or may not have been on a Friday, sometimes I make up exact details of a conversation, but the gist is about right.
DeleteI'm kind of going with Betty's idea also. Hey, it might work.
ReplyDeleteLove the expression "for crispy sake." I have a post that will fit in.
My method with Sweetie is simple, i go to him, ask for his attention, and wait until i have it. Then, if it's complicated, i also write it down and hand it to him. It has saved my temper any number of times!
ReplyDeleteI've been known to call my son on his cellphone in the other room...
ReplyDeleteCan't you watch Gold Rush in the basement?
ReplyDeleteWhat??
ReplyDeleteI would have just stood in front of you until you noticed me and asked what I wanted. I'm not a fan of yelling. There was quite a lot of yelling the day I stood between hubby and the footy though :(
ReplyDeleteAsks you what you want for dinner????? I'd say you got it made, kiddo. Like choosing from the menu.
ReplyDeleteSD is ALWAYS talking to me when he's in another room and I can't hear him properly - when I say what he just repeats himself without speaking up so I STILL can't hear him. Why can't he just walk into the same room!!! Unfortunately he doesn't have a name that can be shortened so maybe I'll just have to start calling him jerk so he knows when he's upset me
ReplyDelete