THIS IS JEOPARDY
Howard
Cosell, the third wheel on the original “Monday Night Football,” was famous for
being despised by football fans. Many
people claimed to turn down the sound on Monday Night Football and listen to
the radio feed instead of Howard. They
claimed that, but they didn’t. Oh lots
of people tried, but they ended up listening to the train wreck that was Howard
Cosell.
Not that
Cosell was a fool, far from it. He knew
exactly what he was doing when he would make a stupid football comment in his
unforgettable staccato announcing style.
“Giff, there are on-ly
five min-utes left. They have got to go
for the on-sides kick right here. Don’t
you agree?”
Every TV fan
screamed out at the same time, “NO
HOWARD! You idiot, there is still plenty
of time.”
Howard knew
there was plenty of time; he also knew exactly what he was doing.
I hated
Howard Cosell, but I sure tuned in to his broadcasts and when he left the
sports world, I missed him.
Similar to
Howard Cosell is the it-seems-like-forever host of the TV show Jeopardy, Alex
Trebek. This is the absurd quiz show
where you must word your answer in the form of a question.
I hate this
smug annoying know-it-all.
I hate when
he over pronounces foreign words or names and expects contestants to question the obscure answers...(see what I did there?)
“This man was the first to fly over
the English Channel with a chair held up by party balloons.”
When no one
knows the answer he divulges it with his annoying exact French pronunciation in
a way that assumes the contestants all knew it but the answer just slipped
their mind.
“And the answer of course is…Maurice
Ponpernpfoontermon… Maurice
Ponpernpfoontermon. The key to that was ‘party
balloon.’ Ponpernpfoontermon which you all must know is French slang for party
balloon.”
Sometimes a
contestant gets excited and does not answer in the correct format.
“This man was the first elected
leader of the new United States.”
“GEORGE WASHINGTON”
“Oh, I’m sorry, that needs to be ‘Who
was George Washington.”
Contestants
get about 2 seconds to hit a buzzer and answer these questions. Often they have to guess.
“This humorist was known for his rope
tricks.”
“Oh...oh, darn, um.” (The dude hit his buzzer too soon and has to blurt out a
guess.) “Mark Twain!”
“Heh, heh, Oh I’m sorry, I thought
everyone would know Will Rodgers…Will Rodgers.
Mark Twain was the author from Missouri.
His real name of course was Samuel Clemons. It was Will Rodgers who did rope tricks.”
Meanwhile,
I’m watching at home yelling,
“Enough already you
dick! He was guessing. We all know about Mark Twain you pompous
jerk!”
Or
“Are you kidding, no
one has ever heard of Maurice Ponpernpfoontermon and neither had you until you
read the script.”
Or
“Fuck that, you
prick! He got the answer…George
Washington! WHO was George Washington is
asinine!”
I absolutely
hate Alex Trebek, and yet I always watch the show.
I think
maybe he knows exactly what he is doing.
I was a kid when Howard Cosell was popular, but I liked him! I liked to imitate him.
ReplyDeleteI like Alex, too. He's been around forever.
I agree that the stupid wording has to go, and on the rare occasion I know an answer, I just blurt it out.
Geez Dude, you're gonna bust a pipe! Take it easy. It's just TV. I do agree though, Alex can be a bit pedantic at times. I sometimes want to correct his "correct" pronunciation. He doesn't always get it right.
ReplyDeleteWe have our own version of an annoying sports talking head. It's Don Cherry, who hosts something called "Coach's Corner". He DOES know what he's talking about, but can be somewhat annoying at times. Never mind that visual distraction of what he's wearing. It's the only time when I'm wishing we still had black and white TV.
reminds me of the SNL skit where 'sean connery' is on jeopardy and keeps replying 'i hate you, trebek!' :)
ReplyDeleteI never watched Howard and I don't watch Alex either. My television watching is limited to Netflix so I can avoid the commercials.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
There are only a handful of categories I do well at; most of the time, watching Jeopardy is a humbling experience.
ReplyDeleteDo not call my friend during Jeopardy; she won't answer. She doesn't have caller ID, so it could be Publishers Clearing House awarding her fifty grand a month for life, and she wouldn't answer.
ReplyDeleteI love Jeopardy but I have to admit I hate when Trebek insists on re-pronouncing contestant's foreign word answers!! "Tres" in French means "very" & "bec" is slang for "mouth", so would tres bec--pronounced "Trebek"--mean "big mouth"?
ReplyDeleteI use to really enjoy Howard. He was a trip and loved big words. Not many sports casters use the term "plethora" when describing the amount of snowfall. Jeopardy annoys me with the format for the answers being in the form of a question.question. Grrrrr.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when he says, "Well done!" after a simple answer like knowing that water is H2O. So patronizing.
ReplyDeleteI watch the show occasionally, always hoping for a geography category. I blow my husband and son away in this category.
ReplyDeleteThe only time we watched the show regularly was during that long run with Ken Jennings as the winner.
We are college football freaks here in Alabama and it seems that EVERY announcer seems to be rooting for the OTHER team.
ReplyDeleteSometimes they may be, but most of the time they aren't. But I know exactly what you mean.
R
I think SNL's Will Ferrell did a better Alex Trebeck than Trebek himself. Certainly funnier, too.
ReplyDeleteI like Jeopardy. I don't mind Alex Trebeck.
ReplyDeleteMy husband must wonder why I'm snort-laughing in the bedroom - um, computer room.
ReplyDeleteThe French language, spoken correctly, does sound a little snooty. But I like Alex, even when he rambles and the contestant has to interrupt him to get another category before time runs out. A neighbor who just passed away had Jeopardy and Wheel in her obituary. I probably will, too. They are just plain fun.