THE IDIOT BLANKET
My mom would have been 99 today. This re-run from May 2012 is for her!
I see in the blogosphere there are many crafters. It is nice to know that some old time skills are not completely lost, but in general i-phones, i-pods, Kindles and texting have replaced the female art of killing time by knitting or crocheting.
I remember, years ago, commuting to work by bus or train and 75% of the lady passengers would be passing the time with needle and yarn. It was fascinating to me that they could carry on a conversation and or sight-see without stopping the click click of the knitting (crocheting) process.
In those good old days (good except for polio, measles, mumps, chicken pox, rubella, TB, and no internet or cable TV) young girls were taught the art of turning yarn into apparel while young boys were taught to catch a ball.
My mom was not much at this fine art, but she did know how to crochet. She could not do anything fancy. She could not mix colors, create a reindeer sweater, or shape a hat. She could make 3x3 squares. She made lots of them while watching TV or carrying on a conversation. After dinner she would make 3x3 squares of every color imaginable. It probably took her three years of making 3x3 squares before she finally combined the hundreds of squares into one very large blanket.
During this process, when ever anyone asked her what she was crocheting she would tell them she was making an “Idiot Blanket.” Mom liked to give things colorful names. She had a couch which was too big so she had it cut down to a size that was neither a couch nor a love seat. She called it “The Bastard.”
I find it amusing that that piece of furniture will be passed down generation to generation and will always be known as “The Bastard.” At some point no one will know why it is called that, but it will always be known as “The Bastard.” The blanket will be the same. Generations from now, future Crankys will ask why is this blanket called an “Idiot Blanket.” Somewhere along the way the visual of my mom slowly plodding away making 3x3 squares will fade away but I will bet the blanket will always be called “The Idiot Blanket.”
I inherited “The Idiot Blanket” several years ago. It stays folded up on my couch in the family room. I never use the “Idiot Blanket.” Just having it reminds me of my mom’s mindless crocheting. Just having it reminds me of my mom.
Just looking at “The Idiot Blanket” keeps me warm.
Hooray for moms and all their skills!
ReplyDeleteHow cool to have something like the Idiot Blanket - my Grandmother was a prolific knitter but nothing seems to have been passed down.
ReplyDeleteLaughed out loud at The Bastard, I've never named my furniture (although I might start now) but I did used to name my neighbours - a friend of mine has a neighbour she calls Van Slag - such a great name!
awww! your mom was a character, for sure. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely tribute to your mom. Yes indeed.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. :)
It's nice to see your warm and fuzzy side. My Mrs. C. tried to knit long ago and all she could manage was something that looked like a pastel spider.
ReplyDeleteSounds like she had a nice dry sense of humor. Idiot Blanket indeed. I used to do a lot of needlework (at home, not on public transportation), but I haven't done much since, er, I got an iPad. Maybe I should give it a whirl again.
ReplyDeleteI would think the Idiot Blanket would reside on a corner of The Bastard.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly did not fall far from your Mother's tree. I see where your quirky humor came from. She sounds delightful. So glad you have such a sweet reminder of that special lady.
ReplyDeleteI love it--& so does Fred, my refrigerator!!
ReplyDeleteI think everybody loves an Idiot Blanket, but only a special few appreciate a Bastard.
ReplyDeleteGrandma passed down several keep-sakes including a couple quilts. Good stuff, but she was a bit lame with the naming ;-)
ReplyDeleteMom? Not so much. She has no skills and most everything she gets she tries to change to better meet her needs which usually results in it being made inoperative. But I got some good Grandma stuff at least.
Ha - what a warm and fuzzy story! We don't name furniture or blankets, but have named cars. My youngest son named my Honda Fit "The Mouse." I looked at him and said that was so stupid, it doesn't look anything like a mouse. "Duh," he said, "not a mouse mouse. It looks like a computer mouse!"
ReplyDeleteDammit, he's right.
Very nice Joe, it is indeed a blessing to have something as special as the idiot blanket to go along with the memories.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great thing to have as memory of your mom! I think on some cool evenings I would be tempted to use it :)
ReplyDeletebetty
My wife's mom quilted and so did her grandmother. We inherited several which we still sleep under even though both women have been dead for many years.
ReplyDeleteThe blankets are a thread that binds us to them.
Good post.
It must have been a relaxing pastime for her. Not for me - crafts stress me out!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! But...umm...is the one in possession thereafter known as the family idiot?
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I manage to knit is scarves, no patterns or shaping required, easy-peasy. I used to knit baby clothes, but haven't needed to for years now, everyone seems to just buy the ready made stuff now.
ReplyDeleteI cannot knit. It's just something about both hands and two needles working together that my brain doesn't perceive. I do know the art of crochet. I started crocheting to give my fingers something to do besides a cigarette and I learned a new stitch. I already have a scarf and a nice winter toboggan. I may just go all out and crochet a pair of mittens with matching socks it this keeps up!!!
ReplyDeleteOooh, I DO love that story Joe! I hope my kids feel the same about my "ugly ass" afghan one day and keep it on their couch to keep warm in the memories of "Mom." - Great post.. :)
ReplyDelete