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Thursday, November 6, 2014

DING DING DING DING…BINGO!!


DING DING DING DING…BINGO!!
I am constantly amazed at a woman’s capacity to wait.   When a Women gets the upper hand on a man she is able to infer that the man has done something wrong, but she will let him stew on it until she is damn well ready to spring the trap.  When a woman has something on a man she will wait to smack him with it when it is the most effective.

If a man forgets to do something, perhaps take out the garbage, he may not be told about his transgression right away.  Oh no, a woman knows to wait until the man tries to hammer her with something.

“Why are you late?  I said we should meet for dinner right after work.  I waited for a half hour, what were you doing, putting on makeup?”

“You forgot to put out the garbage last week.  I had to do it or else it the can would have started to overflow!  Why can’t you ever remember to take out the garbage?”

See how it works? Women use screw-ups like a weapon, they don’t waste a kill shot on something trivial, they have patience.  I guess if you can take nine months to make a baby, you are built for patience.

A man never waits to voice his complaints…he is afraid he will forget and lose his weapon altogether.

Women even wait on trivial things.  For example:

Four days ago Mrs. Cranky and I went grocery shopping.

“Is there anything you know that we are running out of?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?  Some things you use the most, it is up to you to let me know when we are running low.”

“Nope, were good on my stuff.”

After shopping, while we were putting the groceries away, Mrs. C yells from the pantry,

“Joe…you forgot something.”

“What?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Just tell me now.”

“You’ll find out.”

“Just tell me.”

“Check the pantry, if you don’t see what is missing, you will eventually.”

That was three days ago.

Today I was cleaning up after breakfast.  I use a lot of paper towels when I clean the kitchen.  Mrs. Cranky complains about all the paper towels I use.

Anyway.

I used the last towel on the roll and went to the pantry for a new roll.  There was only one roll left.  I brought it out, held it up and asked,

“Is this the last roll of paper towels?”

“Ding ding ding ding…BINGO!”

At least she didn’t call me a jerk.

15 comments:

  1. HA! Well once again, you nailed it! I am sooo guilty of storing these little treasures for optimal use in my own game of BINGO! Poor hubby. He tries so hard and means so well, but just can't compete in this field!

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  2. "At least she didn’t call me a jerk."--not yet!!

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  3. How is it that you don't explode with all this wisdom?

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  4. Bwahahahahahahahahaha. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at your house and watch some of this interaction. I'm just saying.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  5. lol! we are trappers by trade. :)

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  6. My SIL's sister does not use paper towels AT ALL.

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  7. Well? Why DIDN'T you buy paper towels? It's you that uses them, right?

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  8. You guys out muscle us so we have to use what we can to gain the upper hand. It's called compensating. You are doomed.

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  9. No comment ....
    ..... you never know who's listening and taking notes.

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  10. We wait. And unfurl the rope...

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  11. Perhaps the real reason she didn't just buy them anyway is to try and get you to use less paper towels. Did you know that for many things newspaper does just as good a job? Try it and confound the Mrs when you blithely say you didn't need a paper towel for this.

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  12. I vaguely remember someone saying women could never join the ranks of the Catholic priests. They can never really forgive, and they sure as Hell can never forget.

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  13. Ha! I've been missing out on your blog posts Joe! As usual, you've made me giggle with your wisdom about male-female relationships.

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  14. I'm seriously wondering if I'm part man, I have to get the irritation out at the time because I'll never remember it otherwise! I also use reams of kitchen towel for everything ...

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  15. Now let me tell you...if you had forgotten TOILET PAPER instead of just paper towels, you would have been called a jerk!

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