THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!
Sunday, November 16, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 111614
STUPID HEADLINES 111614
is time once again for
How did Herpanics do?
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be completely made up,
guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be the
FEMA asking disabled, elderly residents to repay aid from
superstorm Sandy – And I thought President Bush was
Ventriloquist challenges gag order on puppet – Actually even gagged, the puppet can throw his voice so…
plastic surgeon invents temporary breast implants – Now if he could just tell you when they expire…
Plane hits stray buffalo during
take-off – So the
buffalo got winged?
Signs Bill Legalizing Sale of Sex, but Not Its Purchase – So can a prostitute turn in the John after turning a
Researchers Discover 'Stupidity Virus' – I
ain’t bin feline to good late lee.
can trigger Asthma Attack – NYC
Mayor DiBlasio pushes to fine farts…wait that didn’t come out right…oops,
neither did that.
underwear won't help you lose weight – But lemon meringue
pie in your socks will cure bad breath.
Who Didn’t Stop For Donald Duck In Crosswalk Upset Over Tickets – They’re lucky they didn’t have a quack-up!
of high school students skip Colorado state tests – It’s cool man; it’s called Rocky Mountain High, Colorado.
New York City bill would require cops to get suspect’s search
consent – Excuse me
sir, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to shoot me?
man stuffs chainsaw down his pants in shoplifting case – What could possibly go wrong?
yellow jacket nest removed from South Carolina camper – Oooh; that has got to hurt!
threatened daughter with gun over board game – If you are going to threaten anyone, a gun is always more
effective than a board game.
storms on Uranus– Nah…too easy.
Last week, even with two fakes I could
not fool everyone,
Study: Vitamin D, bananas and
grapefruit could be a dangerous combination -Especially if taken with large doses
Black Christmas? Store set to open doors at 6 PM December 25
-Suldog set to start a new crusade, "New Years