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Saturday, November 29, 2014

TODAY’S KID SHOWS SUCK! a cranky re-run


Taking a break, here is a re-run from December 2011

Why do I care about the quality of children’s TV shows?  Because on Thursday I become Grandpa Joe and I baby-sit the Pennsylvania Crankettes.   On Thursday I am subjected to children’s TV. 

These shows are not about fun or funny.  Noooo, they have to teach something and be at all times politically correct. 

When I was a kid (before the internet), cartoons showed really funny stuff.  Arab dudes chasing Bugs Bunny with a huge sword yelling “Hassan CHOP!!”  There was a coyote falling off cliffs, being squashed by boulders and run over by trucks while chasing a flightless bird.  A cat was tortured by a mouse and subjected to being burned to a crisp or even more brutal being turned completely inside-out.

None of this violence turned me into a mass murderer or a sociopath.  In fact I am quite the pacifist.  At an early age I could recognize that this cartoon violence was not real.  It was intended to be comical, and it did in fact make me laugh.

I recently viewed a cartoon of today with the Pa. Crankettes.  In this story, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.  Humpty Dumpty was afraid to come down from the wall.  Apparently Humpty having a great fall would be too much violence for children of today (in my day he would fall break apart and Daffy Duck would scramble and eat him).

In order for Humpty to get down from the wall two super hero cartoon characters were brought to the scene; Alphabet boy, and Word boy.  These super heroes decided a ladder was needed to save Humpty.  They built a ladder using letters from Alphabet Boy helping Word Boy to create the word LADDER.  The building of the ladder was excruciating.

“We need to build a ladder, can you children in TV land help?  What letter makes the la sound?”

Twenty seconds of silence followed as we wait for the audience to respond

“L…that’s right boys and girls L; now what letter makes the AH sound?”

This went on for fifteen minutes until finally the word ladder was built and leaned against the wall for Humpty to climb down while Alphabet Boy and Word Boy shouted “You can do it” encouragement. 

At this point I turned the set off when I noticed the Crankettes were not watching.  The three year old was shoving a stuffed rabbit into a garbage truck and was giggling while crushing it in the compactor.  The one year old was pushing a car off a table and practicing his crash and explosion sounds.

The namby pamby, politically correct, non-violent, nicey nicey imaginary world has come to children’s TV.  The producers of this pabulum crap think they are contributing to a softer nicer safer world where the children of today will become the caring correct thinking liberated adults and leaders of tomorrow.  I think they should go back to entertainment and laughter.  If children do not watch their crap, their minds will not be molded.

At least in my youth while we laughed we did learn something.  There was a cartoon code of conduct.  Bad stuff happened to bad people (or caricatures).  Bugs always made the evil, violent Hassan look like a fool.  The murderous coyote never caught the clever lovable road runner.  Jerry, the cute mouse, was never eaten by Tom, the nasty cat.

I am betting that the producers of today’s cartoons all have their doctorate in children’s education. 

All the creators of the old cartoons had was a sense of humor.     

I prefer the sense of humor.       


  1. Today's kids shows may not be that good, but kid's movies have improved.

  2. me, too. and any possible 'soft side' encouraged by these kinds of shows are quickly undone once they hit video games.

  3. There was something about those old cartoons indeed. I do have to admit though, I did enjoy watching Sesame Street when I was a teen. Surprisingly, the kids weren't big fans of it though.


  4. I used to watch cartoons every Saturday morning. Loved them and then they changed. I don't watch them anymore. Well I don't even thing there are cartoons on Saturdays anymore.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  5. I agree, too much dumbing down and no funny is a terrible way to educate kids.

    What was ever wrong with the way I was educated?

    The letter of the day is "L"


    L is for laughter! *audio of a bunch of kids laughing*

  6. Funny but we were just discussing this a few minutes ago when I jokingly asked Frank if his visiting son (aged 30) went downstairs to watch Saturday morning cartoons.

    I figured that the really good ones of our day were probably costly to make but that advertising readily paid for them back then, knowing that the audience was always huge. These days, kids just go to the computer for entertainment and it's not worth it to produce quality cartoons anymore. What a loss.

    At least we have our memories.

  7. I used to love Rocky & Bullwinkle--I watched it all through my teens, too!!

    1. I still enjoy Spongebob, but I'm not a regular viewer.

  8. Oh, these kids today, with their hair, and their music.......why I remember when we had to walk uphill both ways to school...yada yada yada.
    Do enjoy your day, cranky.

    1. It's not today's kids, its yesterday's kids who produce today's lousy kids entertainment. Except of course for Sponge Bob.

  9. My source on such matters, an 11-year-old boy, recommends the Fairly Odd Parents. I watched it today and it included: hitting, chasing, falling, squashing, burning, crashing, exploding, fighting, jumping, shopping, bashing, general rudeness, and an inappropriate reference to sexy high-heeled shoes. It seems like the writers are on mushrooms. I think you'd like it.

  10. Then there were those lovely horror movies with Frankenstein and the Blob and their pals. Loved 'em.

  11. I agree! Bring back the funny cartoons! We all watched them and none of us is a serial killer/rapist/bank robber.
    At least here in Australia we are able to see (at the moment anyway) some of the old Tom & Jerry movies. They're showing each Saturday evening at a suitable time for kids.

  12. In addition to the deplorable plots, I detest how today's cartoons are drawn. I used to love looking at the backgrounds behind Bugs and Elmer. Today it's all just computer generated slick nonsense.

  13. The generation of people who grew up watching cartoon violence now have a conniption (is that a real word?) when a nipple or some other nudity shows up on TV...

  14. Elmer Fudd had a (GASP) shotgun!

  15. Haven't checked them out since the Smurfs left the air. I'll check it out next Saturday.