NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

TWO SIDES (to a story)


TWO SIDES

Mrs. Cranky and I bicker a lot, but we seldom have a real argument.  When we do fight, it is usually because Mrs. C overreacts to and or misinterprets some minor action or casual comment on my part.

For example:

Last week, the XY step-crank came to dinner with his girlfriend.  I was grilling hotdogs and hamburgers.  Mrs. C gave me five hotdogs and three hamburgers to grill and told me she only wanted a hotdog.

Mrs. C is generally not very picky about food.  As long as it is not seasoned and it is hot, she is generally happy.  Flavor is not particularly important; temperature is very important.  She is particular about my grilling.  She wants her steaks and chops rare, and her hotdogs well done.  She wants her hotdogs very well done.

I figured she wanted me to grill one dog per person with one extra in case someone wanted two and one hamburger for everyone but her.

As usual I grilled everything to perfection, and left one hotdog on the hot side of the grill to make it well done.  When I presented the well done dog to Mrs. C she was not happy.

“WHY DID YOU COOK MINE SO LONG?”

“I just grilled it a little extra so it would be how you like it.”

“A LITTLE EXTRA?  YOU GRILLED THE CRAP OUT OF IT.  IT’s ALL SHRIVELED UP AND BURNT!!”

Taken aback at her venomous outburst, I calmly took the overdone dog and casually flipped it outside for the squirrels.

“WHAT THE FUCK! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

“I’ll just grill the extra dog a bit more for you, it’s not a problem.  I’m so sorry I overcooked it.”

“There is NO EXTRA DOG! There is one for you, one for Tori, and two for Peter!”

“Peter wants two dogs and a hamburger?”

“NO, HE ONLY WANTED TWO DOGS…THE THIRD HAMBUGER WAS EXTRA.  NOW I HAVE NOTHING!!”

“I’m sorry, here, take my hotdog.”

“No thank you, I’ll just have some soup.  JERK!! I can’t believe you threw one away. YOU ARE SUCH A JERK!!”

“Gee, I’m really sorry.  I didn’t understand.”

Can you believe how Mrs. C overreacted to such a simple…

Not so fast!  Mrs. Cranky here and this is what REALLY happened.

Okay, yes, Peter and Tori were over for hamburgers & hot dogs. Four burgers, one for each and five dogs, Peter wanted two. 

I do like my meat on the rare side, but I also like my dogs well done/shriveled.

Anyway:

Joe brings in the burgers and the dogs.  He went outside to do something with the grill, then he came back in.

I said, (not yelling, because I never yell)

“I like my dogs shriveled dear, not chard.  Sometimes you do tend to burn them?”

He got all huffy and started to rant and rave about my food habits and my strange tastes and he says,

“FINE, NEXT TIME YOU GRILL YOUR OWN DAMN DOG!”

While saying that, he flung my hot dog out the back door twenty yards onto the grass.

I was shocked!!        

“What did you just do??”

“Just eat the damn extra one!”

“There isn't an extra one dear.”

“Yes there is; it’s on the grill!”

“Oh no your mistaken sweetheart, I took out just enough.”

 “Well then damn it, just deal with it!

So I ate my burger and the empty hot dog roll.

He admitted later that he didn't realize there was not an extra hot dog, but he did NOT apologize for violently flinging my hot dog out the door.

Cranky has a habit of over-reacting, and he is very defensive about his grilling.

Don't even ask him about Mother's Day...

OK Mrs. C, you had your say, now I have to ask my readers.  Who are you going to believe, my obviously over-reactive wife, or a wonderful, sweet, harmless, elderly old man?

And I know nothing about Mother’s Day.

20 comments:

  1. Oh man. You two had better lock up the ammo. I forsee bad things.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha.....
    Sorry, bud.
    You totally blew it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you're ready to run for election. (My name is Cranky and I approved this message.)
    Sorry, but my vote goes to Mrs. C.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How thoughtful of you to give us both sides of the argument; yours & the truth!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Mrs C. did exaggerate a little though she will dispute that.

      Delete
  5. Shriveled hot dog. Yummy. That one looks extra big...

    ReplyDelete
  6. You were doing fine until to tossed that dog out the door. That's where you totally screwed up. Totally.

    Have a fabulous day. My best to you both. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  7. Believe?
    Who?
    Why I believe you both.
    You each tell it the way you see it.

    Don't ask me who I think is right. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Once again, I'm straightening out our spare bedroom for you. I think you might be needing it soon.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know you don't have a Chinaman's chance in hell, right? (Can I say that?)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lol. All the drama over a hot dog.
    I hope in the end it tasted amazing and was well worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Perception.. It's all about perception.. That being said, my vote goes to Mrs. C because, well, she's a woman, she a wife and that makes her right and you lucky to have her. Lol.. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Two Things:

    1) I am more convinced than ever that Mrs. Cranky needs her own blog.
    2) You're both full of Cranky Crap.

    Okay, three..

    3) You're both a hoot.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This post sounds a lot like the campaign commercials I have been listening to. Like them, I believe there is a kernel of truth in both of these versions. As long as you keep this delightful sense of humor, you are both right. Can you tell I am a fence sitter?

    ReplyDelete
  14. You had my vote until you tossed that hot dog into the yard. That's the kind of tantrum I see often from my husband, who is quite unreasonable, but would never, EVER throw away a perfectly edible hot dog. Hot dogs are his bread and butter.

    I side with Mrs. Cranky. You messed up her dog, the ONLY thing she wanted, and refused to validate her rage. All you had to do was say, "I'm sorry I messed up the ONE THING you wanted. Let me grill mine a little longer, and you can have it. I'll eat the wrinkly charred one. It will be better than a bare bun."

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sounds like a discussion over at my house, my wife can overreact also--not saying Mrs C did here but yet maybe she did :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I plead the fifth. Do I have to pick either side? Honestly, I'm sure there's two sides of the story for the time I told hubby when he was grilling hot dogs that I would be right back with the dish that he needed and then promptly forgot and didn't come back out until the hot dogs were more than well done. That was before we were married and he still married me.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  17. *writes in diary*...do not accept invitation to bbq at Cranky's.
    I think the problem might not have arisen at all if Mrs Cranky had stated that Peter wanted two dogs when she handed them all to you to grill. Ditto if you had taken them and then asked who was having how many of what.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!