SIGNS, SIGNS

SIGNS, SIGNS, EVERYWHERE ARE SIGNS

At a stop light today, I looked to my right and saw a car with a sticker that said. “I don’t text and drive.” I thought to myself, “Isn’t that wonderful.”  Another slogan to add to the long list of signs attached to cars to let the rest of the driving world know how wonderful and superior you are.

Here is a short list of bumper propaganda that is like sandpaper on my testicles.

Caution, baby on board: So when I see this I should slow down and be extra cautious because you have a baby on board?  I drive pretty much the same way whether you have a baby on board, or a cute cocker spaniel.

I love my...: Thank you so much for letting me know that you love your puppy/cat/bird/whatever because it is very important to me to know that.

Proud parent of an honor roll student: Well WHOOP-TEE-FRIGGIN-DOO!  Pretty much all kids have to do these days is show up at least four days a week and they will make the honor roll, get a trophy, a juice box and a gluten free cookie.

My kid can kick your honor roll kids butt: Funny, but not very nice…no juice box and cookie for you!

Honk if you love Jesus:  Sorry, I spoke to Jesus last night, he said stop the unnecessary horn blasting.

This car climbed Mt. Washington: That’s quite an accomplishment, but why should anyone care?

Stick figures of the family: Don’t even get me started…congratulations, you have a wife, kids and a dog…pull over, I have a juice box and a cookie for you.

I think I’m going to plaster my car with stickers:

Caution old fart at the wheel.

I brake for old people with walkers.

Animals that try and run under my tires deserve to die.

I hardly ever beat my wife.

I love my lactose, gluten and sugar.

Honk if you want me to flip you the bird.


Oh, and I don't care how many bumper stickers you have telling me how to vote, it prbably won't influence my vote very much.