STUPID HEADLINES 120113
It is time once again for:
|Why is this news, doesn't that happen all the time?|
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
Scientists accidentally kill world's oldest animal at age 507 – Oh relax, the animal was a clam, 507 is only 65 in clam years.
Detroit Man Protects Home With Dummies – “Stop! Who am you?”
Girl says Florida school threatening expulsion over her ‘natural hair’ – Big deal! In Beverly Hills they expel girls for having a natural nose.
Professional Driver Survives Insane 180 MPH Car Crash – I’m thinking he might want to change professions.
Zimmerman had 5 guns, more than 100 rounds of ammo when arrested, court papers say – You never know when someone is going to attack you with multiple bags of Skittles.
Sanyo to market flat screen TV’s produced by 3-d printer – Wait…WHAT?
Mass. condo uses DNA testing to bag dog-doo culprits – Why would dog walkers leave their DNA around?
Cow farts a greater problem than EPA previously thought – Add Beano to their feed and there’ll be no problem!
Wisconsin hunter says two bucks stolen from truck; hopes thief needed them – Put your money in your pocket, not in an open truck…dang, how hard is that?
Squirrel kidnapped in Utah returns home for holidays – Owner had to pay a fortune in nuts delivered in unmarked shells.
Jason Kidd Fined $50,000 for Dropping Cup – Well yeah, but Kobe was wearing it at the time.
Last week’s fake headline was:
Apple developing a computer that can be controlled by blinking – It will be called the i-lid.
The only reader to correctly identify the fake was Old (and I mean old) friend Charley Widmer. Charley has no blog so I don’t know what to plug for him so instead I am just going to award him a waytago.