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Sunday, December 8, 2013



It is time once again for:
I'm safe, everyone tells me I have no taste!


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.



Deep-fried turkey is not as unhealthy as you think – The turkey may have a different opinion.

Backlash as Virginia cemetery is dug up to make way for high school football field – Did ya’ll even see “Poltergeist?”

Two thousand dead mice dropped on Guam by parachuteDid they really need parachutes for dead mice?

Pope Francis reveals he used to work as a bar bouncer – They say he had a really effective right Cross!

Wisconsin man angry over grandfather burial mistake – Well he was still alive, but  they did everything else perfectly.

Storms of 'sea snot' muck up the ocean floor – I did not read this…I’d rather not know.

San Francisco passes law making “having fun” in city parks illegal – I wonder how they define “Having Fun?”

House members now permitted to say 'Merry Christmas' in constituent mail – This is outrageous!! (The fact that it is even news is rediculous.)

Navajo Code Talker says Redskins name not derogatory – Navajo Chief - Geronimo “Savage Who Scalps Roundeyes” Mendalstein says Redskin name is not a problem.

Library of Congress: 75 percent of silent films lost - So just take any old movie, turn the sound off and play some piano music…damn, how big a deal is this?

Judge orders Colo. cake maker to serve gay couples – “But your Honor, I only wanted a cake!”

Gabriel Byrne on Pope Francis: 'He's a Figurehead' – Pope Francis on Gabriel Byrne: “Who is he?” Cranky on Gabriel Byrne: “Who is he?”



Last week’s fake headline was:

Sanyo to market flat screen TV’s produced by 3-d printer – Wait…WHAT?



                         Val said...

I'm picking Big Screen Sanyo as fake. We have a 3D printer at school. At the rate that thing operates, it will take about a month for a big screen TV to print.

Visit Val daily for funny stuff @  

                         Dan the Mountain Man said...

I am going with the flat screen TV one this week. I know you can make guns but I do not think they are up to making a TV at this time.

Visit Dan for pictures, down home stuff and his book store @

It is almost as hard to fool Val and the “Mountain Man” as the retired legendary fishducky!

 Emily said...

HAHA! Thanks for the giggles. Again. TV for me please.

Visit this Aussie humorist and learn something new everyday @


  1. I knew that. I can't believe I didn't enter last week.

  2. I'm thinking they are all true. You can't make that stuff up. But they are all so much better with comments from Cranky.

    I, too, was wondering why the dead mice needed parachutes.

  3. Sea Snot? Ewwwww! I never much liked the ocean BEFORE reading this, and now I like it even less. Please don't tell me they've discovered Mountain Snot, too.

    And Leenie...the parachutes are so the dead mice would hang up in the trees when they fell, which is where the snakes are that are supposed to eat them and die.

  4. i really hope francis was a bar bouncer. :)

    i'm going with san fran 'no fun' law - just for fun.

  5. I KNOW I'm retired, but if I weren't I'd guess "San Francisco passes law making “having fun” in city parks illegal"!!

  6. I've had lots of fun in San Francisco parks and I find this one hard to swallow. Hmmnn, there's a clue to what me and my girlfriend were doing in that park in this comment.

  7. I'll have to pick the "San Francisco City Parks...Now With Less Fun!"

    I spend my working day elbow-deep in the scientific method, always emphasizing the difference between subjective and objective hypotheses. It seems that laws, too, should meet the "measurable" criteria. How can you quantify fun?

  8. I was going to say Pope Francis as a bar bouncer, but it's so cool I want it to be true.

    So I'm going with the parachuted mice as being fake.

  9. I am going with the Backlash as Virginia cemetery is dug up to make way for high school football field as the fake. Partly to be different from everyone else. It sounds like it would cost to much money and take to long to move the bodies.

  10. As always, your comments about the headlines are better than the headlines themselves.

    I'm gonna go with the one about the Navajo Code talker as the genuine faux headline.