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Monday, December 30, 2013

PERVDAR - a cranky re-run

PERVDAR
This is an oldie from December 2011
Enjoy your New Year's celebration ladies, but don't drown out your PERVDAR

I recently read a very entertaining blog from “Mommy Bags” http://mommybags.blogspot.com/2011/12/wtf-fridaywoot-woot.html where MB mentioned she knew a reality show contestant was a pervert well before he was accused and convicted of dealing in child pornography.  It is not the first time I have been aware of this extra sense that women seem to possess; PERVDAR!
Years ago, when I was a supervisor of about 20 clerical workers, there was a guy whom I’ll call Ralph.  The unit I supervised required people to pair off in order to perform their function.  There were three women to every man in this unit.  None of the women wanted to work side by side with Ralph.

Ralph seemed like a nice guy to me.  He was clean cut, reasonably good looking; he liked sports, was polite and had a good sense of humor.

“He’s just weird, I can’t explain it.” Is the response I would get when I enquired why women would not work with Ralph. 

“I can’t tell you, you’d have to be a woman” was another common response.

I always paired Ralph off with another man, and there was never an incident.  Ralph was not the best worker, but he was adequate, and he came to work on time.  He was laid off one year when the company was not making enough money to make the stockholders happy.

Several years after Ralph left the company, I was riding a crowded NYC subway.  I was seated and nodding off when a woman woke me with a loud rant:

“You touch my ass one more time and I’m going to cut off your Mother-Fu*king dick!”  (You don’t want to mess with NYC women.)  

“Wha what?  I didn’t do nothing!”

“Listen dickwad, every time the train shifts you rub against my ass.  One more time and I will knee you so hard you’ll be talking through your balls!”

“I didn’t do nothing!”

I felt a little sorry for this dude.  It is sometimes difficult to avoid bumping into people on a crowded subway.  Then I looked up at the culprit.  It was Ralph!  Apparently it was not just difficult for Ralph to avoid contact it was also very hard!

I don’t know what the ladies saw, they never could really tell me, but from that point on I totally believed in women’s PERVDAR!

9 comments:

  1. I believe it. I've known women who would be waiting for an elevator, and before the door would even open they'd walk away saying they weren't going in with "him" in there. Who?

    I've known other people who had what I would call a 6th sense, too. Strange, but they were usually right.

    S

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  2. You know, of course, that we women learn this skill in the twilight zone!!

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  3. How interesting. I find that my initial instincts about people are generally wrong. I don't think I have any Pervdar!

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  4. I think that this is a learned skill we have, not an inherit one.

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  5. interesting story, more so considering you witnessed it in some form of reality.

    growing up we had one of those creepers at church, most of the feminins avoided his hugs as did some of the masculines.

    then again, i've been tagged as a creeper perv more than once in my life based purely on intuition. well, with the exception of Queenie's characterization anyhow. but that's a better story, ya know?

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  6. Oh, we know. There's the flirty perv, who is basically harmless, just lacks game, and ogles your V-neck sweater area at the copy machine in an attempt to start a dialogue.

    There's the "very friendly" perv who likes to drape his arm around your shoulders, pull you sideways against him in a hug, and call you "Babe."

    Then there's the power perv, in a position of authority, who likes to massage your shoulders when he wanders in to have a chat, and says things like, "Or you can take it out in trade."

    And the only reason a guy sits behind two women deep in conversation in a mostly empty stadium or arena is because he plans to "take it out."

    Yeah. We know our pervs.

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  7. I have a good sense of pervdar. There are some people that you just don't want to be around, even at the cost of being rude. Like Lowandslow said, there are people you will not get on the elevator with…

    Man, when that little internal voice speaks, you LISTEN!

    Pearl

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  8. My girls had good pervert radar from a young age, around four or so. Their dad would bring mates home to watch the footy etc and sometimes the girls would be in and out of the room talking to their dad, fetching beers etc, other times they'd stay away from the living room and even promises of 50 cents per beer wouldn't get them in there. They knew. Maybe they picked up vibes from me to begin with, but it helped keep them safe all through their growing up years.

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  9. I wonder if Ralph changed his name because this post sounds exactly like the maintenance man at my last job!

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