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Sunday, December 29, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 122913


STUPID HEADLINES 122913

It is time once again for:
There must be a better choice of words
 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

 
One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

___________________________

 
Charlie Sheen rips 'Duck Dynasty' patriarch over homosexuality remarksWho better to pass judgment than a cocaine snorting, alcoholic, adulterous, whore monger.

Feds begin killing barred owls to help save spotted owl – Apparently the barred owls are part of the Tea Party.

End of the windshield wiper? – I guess I should sell my stock in “Windshield Wipers R Us.”

Ship with mushy bananas ordered to stay in New Jersey port – Because in New Jersey we believe you can never have enough fruit flies.


How to Give a Tiger a Root Canal – Just hand his ex-wife a two iron.


Montana judge sentences woman's attacker to write 'boys do not hit girls' 5,000 times – See how he likes beating the crap out of women with a cramped fist!


McDonald's employee site advises workers to avoid eating fast food – I think they meant Burger King.


In Santa's bag: booze, drugs and immorality, Turkish Muslim group says And they don’t even mention all the Ho’s.


Study proves left-handed people prefer pepper grinders to shakers – Another study proved that studies studying stupid stuff are stupid.


Oklahoma Zoo Home to America's First Liligers – So if a tiger and a lion mate their offspring is a liger.  A liger and a lion mates they have a liliger.  If a liliger mates with a tiger will it be a tigerlili?


Fracking saves water and prevents droughts, says study – I wonder who paid for this study.


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Last week’s fake headline was:


Man claims drinking pee is healthy – Dude; you’re in trouble!


Further research finds that many people do in fact believe drinking pee is healthy, so this FAKE headline is really not a fair fake.  Hey,  I was just looking for a stupid play on words  with the “you’re in” thing.  Therefore I must declare three winners:


           Joanne Noragon said...

They true, every one of them. How can you do that to us?

 


           fishducky said...

I checked after seeing Joanne's comment--THEY'RE ALL TRUE!!

Guilty as charged…mea culpa…but not on purpose!

Visit Joanne @ http://cuponthebus.blogspot.com/      for local history, common sense parenting, interesting photos, and other interesting stuff.

Visit Fran @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/    for jokes, cartoons, funny videos and stories.

          Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

I think it's the man recommending drinking pee.

Bruce got the fake but really real headline.

Visit Bruce @ http://oddballobservations.blogspot.com/ for funny stuff, interesting stuff, and you guessed it “Oddball Observations.”

 

Please visit and congratulate all our winners!  

9 comments:

  1. i'm going for pepper grinders this week.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm left-handed and prefer pepper grinders, but I still think this one is fake.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not a guess on the fake headline...just a small world point of interest (for me, at least). Jay Cronley, from your first headline, works for the Tulsa world where I had my first ever job and he married my brother's ex girlfriend.
    If I was guessing, I think I would also guess the pepper grinder story.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pepper grinders. I'm getting the hang of this now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I saw this and almost immediately had to came back here to leave the link.

    I'm not sure why.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just to be different, I'm pointing to Santa's Bag as fake. You missed a good one. I almost sent it to you, but I was too lazy to link it.

    "Woman Stabs Man With Ceramic Squirrel for Failing to Bring Home Beer on Christmas Eve"

    ReplyDelete
  7. The owl story sounds fishy to me, so that's my pick.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am going with Feds begin killing barred owls to help save spotted owl. They Feds may want to take out all owls for asking, "Who? Who?" all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I totally believe Charlie Sheen would criticize others... I guess I'll go w/ the owl one. I hope you had an excellent Christmas!

    ReplyDelete

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