STUPID HEADLINES 122913

STUPID HEADLINES 122913

It is time once again for:

There must be a better choice of words

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

 

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

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Charlie Sheen rips 'Duck Dynasty' patriarch over homosexuality remarks – Who better to pass judgment than a cocaine snorting, alcoholic, adulterous, whore monger.

Feds begin killing barred owls to help save spotted owl – Apparently the barred owls are part of the Tea Party.

End of the windshield wiper? – I guess I should sell my stock in “Windshield Wipers R Us.”

Ship with mushy bananas ordered to stay in New Jersey port – Because in New Jersey we believe you can never have enough fruit flies.

How to Give a Tiger a Root Canal – Just hand his ex-wife a two iron.

Montana judge sentences woman's attacker to write 'boys do not hit girls' 5,000 times – See how he likes beating the crap out of women with a cramped fist!

McDonald's employee site advises workers to avoid eating fast food – I think they meant Burger King.

In Santa's bag: booze, drugs and immorality, Turkish Muslim group says – And they don’t even mention all the Ho’s.

Study proves left-handed people prefer pepper grinders to shakers – Another study proved that studies studying stupid stuff are stupid.

Oklahoma Zoo Home to America's First Liligers – So if a tiger and a lion mate their offspring is a liger.  A liger and a lion mates they have a liliger.  If a liliger mates with a tiger will it be a tigerlili?

Fracking saves water and prevents droughts, says study – I wonder who paid for this study.

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Man claims drinking pee is healthy – Dude; you’re in trouble!

Further research finds that many people do in fact believe drinking pee is healthy, so this FAKE headline is really not a fair fake.  Hey,  I was just looking for a stupid play on words  with the “you’re in” thing.  Therefore I must declare three winners:

           Joanne Noragon said...

They true, every one of them. How can you do that to us?

 

           fishducky said...

I checked after seeing Joanne's comment--THEY'RE ALL TRUE!!

Guilty as charged…mea culpa…but not on purpose!

Visit Joanne @ http://cuponthebus.blogspot.com/      for local history, common sense parenting, interesting photos, and other interesting stuff.

Visit Fran @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/    for jokes, cartoons, funny videos and stories.

          Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

I think it's the man recommending drinking pee.

Bruce got the fake but really real headline.

Visit Bruce @ http://oddballobservations.blogspot.com/ for funny stuff, interesting stuff, and you guessed it “Oddball Observations.”

 

Please visit and congratulate all our winners!