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Monday, August 6, 2012

I COULD KICK HIS ASS!! - another Cranky re-run


The other day my wife introduced me to one of her friend’s husbands.  Nice guy, twenty years younger than me, in good shape, my size maybe bigger, happily married and no threat to me in any way; and yet as I was shaking his hand what thought was going through my head?  I COULD KICK HIS ASS! It dawned on me how ridiculous was this thought.

I am not a violent person.  I have been in two fights in my life, and both of them were when I was in the 8th grade, and yet  I realized my first thought when I meet a new person of my gender is whether or not I could beat him in a fight.  Do all men do that?  Why do we do that?  Why do I almost always think that I would win a fight even though at my age I pull a muscle if I get out of bed too fast?

There must be something deep down in our DNA which automatically seeks to defend our women or property from an intruder.  Something which forces us to size up a potential aggressor and determine that if push comes to shove we need to run or I COULD KICK HIS ASS!

Most of the questions we ask someone we just meet are all part of the sizing up process.

“What do you do?” “Who do you like this year in the NFL?” “Did you play ball in school?” “Do you work out?”  “How much can you bench?”

Why does a non-violent person such as myself, someone who would walk away rather than wail away, still feel the need to size up every male’s ability to win or lose in a fight?
Do women have a similar response when introduced to new members of their gender?  What is the female version of I COULD KICK HIS ASS?

Come on ladies, fess up.  Is your first reaction “I could win her man?”  Do you size up your looks against this interloper?  Do you think “I could outsmart her?”  What questions do you first ask someone? 

“Are you married?” “Do you have children?” “What kind of work do you do?” “Where did you go to school?” “Where do you live?” “Is that your car out front?”

Does everyone try to size up new acquaintances before they decide to be friendly or not?

Maybe it’s just me. 

So what!



  1. Hmmm...interesting question. I think we all size each other up before we really open up. Until we're comfortable we're just "cautiously friendly". In the US "sizing up" often means checking out their material standing. And you're right...guys think in terms of physical strength while women are more competative in terms of beauty.

    Me... I always wonder if they're a better shot?

  2. My first thought is usually "I wonder how old she is?" I guess I mostly want her to be my age but look older.

  3. I've always been able to walk away from a fight or talk my way out of one, except for one time when I got into a fight with someone and would probably have killed them if I hadn't been pulled away. My threshold for anger is extraordinarily high, and when it broke I didn't have any control over it. Scared me to death!

  4. Ha ha, that did make me laugh Joe ;) Im pretty sure it is a standard response and probably for most a completely unconcious one.

    Hmm, seems very shallow to admit that I probably do make a visual comparison between myself and other women on a first meeting ... hadn't really thought about it before but again, it's possibly a basic instinct, survival of the fittest ect and it would only be for a moment.

  5. Haha - fun post! I'm sure everybody does it! Well - not specifically 'kicking ass' comparisons - but we definitely size our rivals up for sure - like if they're way way out of my league in looks or figure (I think all girlies compare these factors first - Oh c'mon - of course we do!) - I'll automatically deem them useless in another category... just so as to level the score a bit. If I'm totally beat on the age difference - which is starting to happen more and more these days I reassure myself that my maturity and experience is just as sexy.. yikes... again it comes back to attractiveness... really Momma - How shallow are you? ;)

  6. Oops - I came across to hand you the Liebster Blog Award, then I totally forgot to mention it! I'm hoping you're not too cranky to accept it -especially as I'm looking forward to hearing your 11 answers to my 11 questions... ;)

  7. I look at another women's size and I compare mine. I always think I'm a much bigger size--I always have. I suppose I have a poor self image of myself. Then I listen to her to see if she's more successful/smarter/younger than me. After that, I check her toenails. Yep, toenails, if it's sandal season that is. Otherwise I can't tell in regular shoes. If my toenails are in nicer shape, I feel pretty good. So it's all about looks when I measure myself up against another woman. As far as physical fights, I wouldn't even think to go there...

  8. I think we all size new comers up. But what we size is different as we age.

    When I was 20, I thought she wanted my great looking man.

    When I was 30, I thought she wanted to impress him as a smarter woman than I.

    When I was 40, I thought she wanted to show she was more beautiful than I.

    I think when I'm 50, I'll finally just realize that she probably just wanted a friend.


    I'm done with worrying. I just want to have fun. lol


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