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Friday, August 10, 2012



I have been trying to avoid any comment on these 2012 Olympics, but I can hold my tongue no longer.  This morning I woke up to watch “Athletes” performing in synchronized swimming.  This is an Olympic event?  I know, I know… it takes skill and work and practice, practice, practice to win a medal in this “event.”  It also takes skill and work and practice, practice, practice to play the trombone.  Can I expect trombone to be an Olympic event in 2016?  How about trombone pairs?  OR Synchronized trombone.  Will there be a trombone relay? 

How about the trombone throw?  I would tune in for that.

“Jones is in the ring for his last attempt at the trombone throw.  He has already won the gold in the non-slide throw, silver in the trombone throw relay and a bronze in the pairs.  If he can beat Jenkins toss of 88’ 3” he will become the most decorated trombone thrower in Olympic history with a chance to win four more medals in the slide pair, relay, synchronized and team events.”

Jones got his start in the trombone throw because he sucked at every other sport he ever attempted.  He took up playing the trombone at age 14.  When he realized he also sucked at playing the trombone, he threw it in a fit of frustration and a future Olympian was born.

Here it comes, after years of practice and sacrifice Jones goes into his spin, he plants and it IS A BEAUTIFUL RELEASE…THIS IS GOING TO BE A NEW OLYMPIC RECORD….91’…JONES IS THE…wait…wait…oh NO.  THE SLIDE CAME OFF…FOUL…FOUL…WHAT A SHOCKING END TO ONE OF THE GREATEST OLYMPIC ATHLETES OF ALL TIME!”

The Olympics should be Boxing, and Track and Field (except speed walking, walking is not a sport.)  All other sports are adequately represented by professional leagues. 

Swimming, gymnastics and volleyball can have their own separate games, the SRAO: The Second Rate Athlete Olympics.

If anyone still cared about ping pong, canoe racing, diving, archery etc. etc. etc. then “The Wide World of Sports” would still be on the air Sunday afternoons.

Relax all you fans of anything Olympic...its satire!... Mostly.           


  1. I'm personally waiting impatiently for the "dancing around with a ribbon on a stick" event. ;)


  2. Funny posting. After hearing about the debate to bring Pole Dancing to the Olympics I am making a motion to bring Beer Pong there also! :)

  3. You couldn't turn it off and leave the room?

  4. Don't worry Cranky. We'll soon be cheering on the guy with the fastest thumbs in the sport known as Texting Speedsters. We have such fun to look forward to don't we?

  5. The acid test that I believe should be applied to sports before they are admitted to the Olympic Games is the Olympic motto Citius Altius Fortius (faster, higher, stronger). That would rule out synchronised swimming et al, but not rowing, canoeing, kayaking and many others. While some might interpret boxing as fitting the faster and stronger criteria, my personal view is that attempting to bash another person's brains out shouldn't even qualify as a sport or a game.

  6. hi, i'm following the friday blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow it if you like it.

    new follower bev

  7. Hello, Cranky Old Man, I'm Nadezda from Saint Petersburg. Do you know where is it! OK!. So I'm here over Hilary, and I've read your thoughts about Olympics. Yes, you're right,may be the best competitions are where one person wins the other, not the teams.


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