STUPID HEADLINES 082612

STUPID HEADLINES 082612

 

Yes, it is Sunday, time again for the stupid headlines of the week and my even stupider, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.  

Former Texas high school teacher gets 5 years after group sex with students – Why did they wait for her to have group sex before sentencing?

Texas woman suing Dallas Cowboys over 'burned buttocks' – Hot benches had no warning signs…Hmmm my ass really hurts…maybe I should STAND UP?

Augusta National admits first 2 female members – The Course is now experiencing 15 minute delays at every hole.  (Oh relax…it’s a joke…geeze you are sooo sensitive!)

Homeowner Fights to Keep Wife Buried in Front Yard of Their Home – Homeowner’s wife fights back!

Record radiation in fish off Japan nuclear plant – Today special “Neon Sushi!”

More cases of syphilis in porn found by LA inquiry – Inquiry also determined most cases of seasickness occur on boats.

U.S. Open Referee Charged With Killing Husband With Coffee Cup – And I was sure it was Col. Mustard in the parlor with a candle stick!

High school valedictorian denied diploma over ‘hell’ speech says she won’t apologize – She said “How the Hell do I know” instead of the pre-approved “Heck” and the school is holding her diploma until she offers a written apology.  I think the school owes HER an apology…God Dammit to H E double-fucking hockey sticks!

Opera singer faces death while deep sea diving for gold in the Bering Sea – Incredibly enough, that was the exact same sentence I had to type ten times as a warm up for my high school typing class.

Christians victims of rising 'hostility' from gov't – Atheist group fails to protest this violation of the separation of church and state doctrine.

Neil Armstrong, 1st man on the moon, dies – An American hero - He took the biggest one small step ever. RIP!