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Thursday, August 30, 2012


Summer vacation is over, and I am back on toddler duty one day a week for my school teacher son and D-I-L.  Cole is 4, Connor is 2.  With just one day sitting I have the following toddler observations:

Stunt Toddlers (not Cole and Connor)


In the history of toddlers, a four year old has never answered YES to the question “Are you ready to go to bed?”

If toddlers see you, they won’t play.

If a toddler does not see you when he falls he will not cry.

The only toy worth having is the one that another toddler is playing with.

In the history of toddlers, a four year old has never said YES, to the question “Do you need to pee?”

A hula hoop and a toy tractor equals a beach comber machine from the Jersey Shore.

In the history of toddlers, a four year old has never answered NO to the question “Do you want desert?”

If Grandpa does a silly dance he will hear, “Do it again!” If he does it again he will hear, “Do it again!”

In the history of toddlers, a four year old has never said, “OK Grandpa, that’s enough” after a silly dance.

Grandpas do not understand a word that a two year old says. 

Four year olds can interpret everything a two year old says.

Toddler rules make sense to toddlers…leave them alone.

No matter how long you let it cool, any food that has been heated will be “Too hot!” to eat.

A toddler’s appetite is inversely proportional to the amount of food available at meal time.

Any scrape, bump or bruise will hurt a toddler more if you act concerned.

Poop is funny.


  1. You just described my life. My whole, entire, day to day life. Wanna take my toddlers for one day a week??

  2. Brilliant observations! I'm sure you're enjoying those kidlets immensely.

  3. "Grandpas do not understand a word that a two year old says."

    And it's even worse trying to understand what they're saying on the phone. At least in person you can smile and nod.


  4. Yep, I'd say your observations are right on the money. My observation is that cranky grandpas think their grandkids are pretty special.

  5. Very accurate observations! And poop stays funny for a very (too) long time!

  6. Yep, you could pass PhD in Toddler any day of the week. So be careful.

  7. Yep, all true! I love it.
    I'm SO bummed that we don't have a toddler in the house anymore! Well, okay...we still have a four year old. But that's a preschooler, not toddler. And because she's the #9 child in the family she acts much more like a 8 or 9 year old than a 4 year old.

    I'm not saying that I want to get old, and I'm not saying that I want any of my kids to have kids right now.... but I will say that I am looking forward to having grandchildren!

  8. I think all that needs to be said here is
    Amen. Preach it. :)

  9. Yup. That's pretty much how it works in my house too. I'm going to forward this on to the grandparents as I think they'll get a good laugh out of it too! :-)

  10. Yep oh so true! Enjoy your one day a week

  11. CRAZINESS ABOUNDS sent me here--I'm now your newest follower. You tell it like it is, or for me, like it was!!

  12. Agree with all and when are going to come over and take of my toddler :0)

  13. this is funny. you have observed well!

  14. Ugh, these are too true! So glad you have the grandpa skills to take a step back and make all these observations.
    That "too hot" one kills me. Every. Single. Time!

  15. Truly brilliant. I hope you're working on the book.

  16. It's true, poop is funny.

    Do you do grandparent training? Because I feel that I've been duped, as my own father would never ever agree to take my 3 kids for even 2 hours, let alone a day a week.

  17. It's as if my father in law wrote it himself. You are so right about "do it again" as well - never ending.

  18. OMGosh loved these. My one grandson is four and just started into the "But Why?" phase of life. Everything said to him he will answer, "But Why?" :)

  19. Oh yeah! You've absolutely got it spot on! lol


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