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Sunday, August 5, 2012

SILLY HEADLINES 080512

SILLY HEADLINES 080512
Sunday is tome for Cranky’s stupid headlines and my sophomoric even stupider and sometimes offensive comments.  

Death certificates may not tell the whole storyNo, but they usually get the ending about right.  HE DIED!

Dick Cheney: Picking Sarah Palin for VP Was 'A Mistake'Former Vice President also thinks investing with Bernie Madoff was not a good idea; we probably should have stayed out of Viet Nam and is convinced the Earth is not completely flat.

Eye injection gives a blind mouse the ability to see – Tailless rodent vows to use his sight to get revenge on the farmer’s wife.

 Romney comments at fundraiser irk Palestinians – When is the last time anyone said something that did not irk the Palestinians?

Florida Man Charged With Feeding Gator That Ate His HandCome on!  The alligator ate his hand and he gets charged with illegally feeding gators?  Man they are harsh in Florida!

NBC accidentally aired a water polo wardrobe malfunction – TV ratings drop as millions of male viewers race to the showers after seeing a nipple for 1/10th of a second!    

Air patrols reportedly search for great white sharks off Cape Cod – Planes find nothing and declare air off Cape Cod perfectly safe for sky diving,  “Just don’t land in the ocean!”

Romney tries not to make new Iran policyIt’s just as well, I don’t think Ahmadinejad would implement most of Romney’s ideas anyway.

Australian rower is the new gold medalist in dumb criminal actsDrunken athlete smashes window of a building…he thought he was back home and locked out of his house…this is why I LOVE the Aussies!

North Korea's Key to Olympic Medals: Refrigerators For Winners, Labor Camps for Losers – Michael Phelps considers defecting… “Ah…no thanks, I have two refrigerators.”

Woman accidentally swallows butter knife – I guess this could happen, but this was the SECOND TIME!! (I could not make that up.)

Woman's dog saves her life by sniffing out breast cancer – I’m not sure I could do this, but I’m willing to sign up for the training class.

English-Only and English as Official Language Bills Gain Momentum –Bill is known as the “Habla Englese solemente por favor” bill.

Obama questions Tim Tebow trade – President threatened to veto the trade until it was pointed out that NFL is outside his jurisdiction.




4 comments:

  1. Woman swallows SECOND butter knife? Well that's stupid! She should be eating butter with a spoon, then a salad fork, then a dinner fork.....pretty soon she'll have a complete place setting in her belly, just the way God and Emily Post meant for it to be.

    S

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  2. Of course Obama questioned the trade. It's an election year.

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  3. butter knife?? just eat the butter using your hands..does she have a iron deficiency ??

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  4. It's beyond me why anyone would care what Dick Cheney says. I can think of only one person I hold in lower esteem...oh yeah, Sarah Palin!

    ReplyDelete

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