SILLY HEADLINES 080512
Sunday is tome for Cranky’s stupid headlines and my sophomoric even stupider and sometimes offensive comments.
Death certificates may not tell the whole story – No, but they usually get the ending about right. HE DIED!
Dick Cheney: Picking Sarah Palin for VP Was 'A Mistake' – Former Vice President also thinks investing with Bernie Madoff was not a good idea; we probably should have stayed out of Viet Nam and is convinced the Earth is not completely flat.
Eye injection gives a blind mouse the ability to see – Tailless rodent vows to use his sight to get revenge on the farmer’s wife.
Romney comments at fundraiser irk Palestinians – When is the last time anyone said something that did not irk the Palestinians?
Florida Man Charged With Feeding Gator That Ate His Hand – Come on! The alligator ate his hand and he gets charged with illegally feeding gators? Man they are harsh in Florida!
NBC accidentally aired a water polo wardrobe malfunction – TV ratings drop as millions of male viewers race to the showers after seeing a nipple for 1/10th of a second!
Air patrols reportedly search for great white sharks off Cape Cod – Planes find nothing and declare air off Cape Cod perfectly safe for sky diving, “Just don’t land in the ocean!”
Romney tries not to make new Iran policy – It’s just as well, I don’t think Ahmadinejad would implement most of Romney’s ideas anyway.
Australian rower is the new gold medalist in dumb criminal acts – Drunken athlete smashes window of a building…he thought he was back home and locked out of his house…this is why I LOVE the Aussies!
North Korea's Key to Olympic Medals: Refrigerators For Winners, Labor Camps for Losers – Michael Phelps considers defecting… “Ah…no thanks, I have two refrigerators.”
Woman accidentally swallows butter knife – I guess this could happen, but this was the SECOND TIME!! (I could not make that up.)
Woman's dog saves her life by sniffing out breast cancer – I’m not sure I could do this, but I’m willing to sign up for the training class.
English-Only and English as Official Language Bills Gain Momentum –Bill is known as the “Habla Englese solemente por favor” bill.
Obama questions Tim Tebow trade – President threatened to veto the trade until it was pointed out that NFL is outside his jurisdiction.