I may have mentioned in the past that my wife, Mrs. C, is very thrifty. That is, at least, a nice way to put it. I think she has a weird value system.
We pay each month for several years now, for a storage unit which stores crap. This drives me nuts, but I try and let it go for the sake of the marriage. I do, however, mention it from time to time when the “thrifty” one chastises me for occasional wastefulness.
Tonight was just one such time.
I make a milkshake for my son who is home from college. Yes, he could make his own, but I spoil him sometimes. I use several large scoops of chocolate ice cream, a little milk, and a packet of chocolate instant breakfast. Very tasty!
Last week Mrs. C specifically told me to use the instant breakfast packets from the box that was already open.
Why would I open a box when there was one already opened? Well the already open box I saw was vanilla. Oh, she wants me to use up the vanilla before opening the chocolate. Ok, it still makes a good shake.
Tonight I mentioned there was only one more packet of vanilla left.
“What, why are you using MY vanilla?”
“Because you told me to use up the packets from the open box first.”
“The open box of chocolate!”
“The open box I saw was vanilla, of course if I was going to use chocolate I would use the open box first.”
“Well you didn’t”
“The open box I saw was the vanilla, I assumed you wanted that used first.”
“Well you assumed I would open a new box of chocolate when there was already a box opened…why assume I’d be stupid!”
“Because you are!”
“I’ll buy you a new box of vanilla!”
“That is a waste!”
Here it comes.
“Maybe there are some vanilla packets in the STORAGE UNIT!!”
“You’re a jerk!”
So now on my way downstairs I see a half-finished bottle of water. This drives me crazy because no one ever admits to leaving it half empty.
“If no one claims this water bottle, I’m chucking it!”
Now here comes the comment from the woman who pays monthly for a storage unit, which is where old worthless shit goes to die, that totally cracked me up. In all seriousness, she hollers,
“Don’t throw it away, water the plants with it!”
Clearly the logic train missed her station…and yet I still love her.