Stupid Headlines 012217
It’s time again for
Makes Sense.
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Norwegian mass murderer says prison
isolation 'damaged' him – Awww!
Study suggests humans arrived in
North America 10,000 years earlier than past estimates – Dates got all screwed up because of
that Y10K BC thing.
Authorities to search Manchester home
of woman missing 35 years – Let’s see, she’s been missing for 35 years…I’ve got it, check
her house.
‘Ice cream killer’ is so dangerous, she’s headed to a
men’s prison – She killed her husband and boyfriend for not getting her pregnant. Is sending her to a male prison really a good
idea?
Air Force general uses $387G in
taxpayer funds to renovate foyer – Well it probably was…er…maybe it needed…ah…you have to
realize that…eh…Ah shit, that is friggin excessive!
Man suffers burns after trying to set
himself on fire outside Trump Hotel – This is too easy, but someone has to say it… “You’re Fired!”
Actor to Millions of Fans: Aborted
Babies Are 'A LOT Cheaper' – But then where would he get those millions of fans? May I add, “You fu*king idiot!”
Pennsylvania man tried strangling wife after dreaming she cheated
– This is why I have made it very clear to my
wife that I am not responsible for anything I do in her dreams…unless it is something really good.
No charges for duo who shot amateur
porn at railway station – Sometimes the
headline isn’t the best part…the explanation for no charges filed: "Because despite the fact the film only surfaced
last December, the actual filming happened more than year ago: outside the
statute of limitations for charges to be laid."
Is that an editorial Freudian slip?
Box of Jamaican beef patties found
stuffed with cocaine at airport – I’ll have what he’s having.
‘Moby Dick’s’ Restaurant
Blocked From Opening Because Name Is Deemed Insulting – Building’s owners prefer a
classy restaurant like Hooters.
Greyhound with a broken leg leads Spanish vets two miles to her puppies
– A good dog story never
fails.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4135630/Dog-broken-leg-leads-vets-two-miles-puppies.html#ixzz4WM62gyiP
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4135630/Dog-broken-leg-leads-vets-two-miles-puppies.html#ixzz4WM62gyiP
Tight end returns after colon surgery? What was he pre-surgery...a wide receiver?
ReplyDeleteLove the feel-good story. :)
Heh, heh! I liked your Y10K BC comment, and my 13-year-old self liked the Moby Dick/Hooters combo!
ReplyDeleteYou left something off your acronyms list, but I was able to figure it out.
ReplyDeleteSometimes i have to shake my head in disbelief -- how do you find these! Loved the dog story.
ReplyDeleteWhat is happening to people? Do they check their brains somewhere and then go off and do stupid things? I'm guessing that's about right.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday as always.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
I always appreciate the Sunday smiles this post brings.
ReplyDeleteDitto Stephen Hayes; exactly what I was going to say.
ReplyDeleteMe, too!!
DeleteIf I ever turn up missing, I hope someone checks my house first. I can sometimes be a bit of a recluse, so 35 years is not out of the question.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, don't check my house. Just leave me the hell alone and stay off the grass...
Cracks me up every time.
ReplyDeleteYou have to really feel bad for that Norwegian prisoner ...
ReplyDeleteGood feel good story.
You had me smiling till I read about the greyhound. Thankfully it had a happy ending but mercy, she was so thin you could read through her. Would love to find the person who dumped her.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the Pennsylvania man who tried strangling his wife after dreaming she cheated...I once woke up mad at my husband after he did something really stupid in my dream. No strangling involved, though.
ReplyDelete