Stupid Headlines 011517
It’s
time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines
and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
________________________
Nude woman steals sheriff's car,
claims she was poisoned – Some people die when poisoned, some take off their clothes and steal a
cop car.
Two employees are suing Microsoft,
alleging their jobs gave them PTSD – Can you not quit a job with Microsoft?
Vegan Denied Swiss Passport
Over ‘Annoying’ Campaign Against Cowbells – They’re murderers, they’re rapists, and they hate cowbells.
Johnny Manziel's Next Move: Charging
Fans For Selfies – A
professional has been before he ever was…sad.
Monopoly might ditch classic game
pieces for emojis – Oh
the humanity! They took away my iron, don’t take my thimble!
Man recently named 'Principal of the
Year' charged with statutory rape – They are renaming the award to: “Pretty good Principal of the
year…except for that sex thing.”
Cops cuff volunteers for feeding the
homeless in Florida – Pigeons yes, homeless no.
Teen accused of being fake doctor
indicted in Virginia – Am I the only one who misread this?
USC Female Empowerment Group
Scraps Word ‘Women’ For Being ‘Alienating’ – Group prefers “Non-football
watching, beer swilling, belching and farting persons”.
Obama's dog Sunny reportedly bites
White House guest – Guests
to the White House should probably wait another week before wearing a “Make
America Great Again” hat.
Madoff reportedly cornered the hot
chocolate market in prison – Very impressive Bernie, you’re a genius…also a
dick/asshole/crap-head/putz. Enjoy your
business acumen ripping off fellow miscreants…it would be too bad if you pissed
them off.
Faithful Dog Saves Injured Owner From
Freezing Temperatures – A cat would have just moved on.
___________________________________
Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINES!!
"Teen accused of being fake doctor indicted in Virginia"
ReplyDeleteI wonder what kind of fake doctor this teenager was? My guess is an OB/GYN. ;)
Depends on who the cat is
ReplyDeleteAn excellent assortment as usual. Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday!
ReplyDeleteI read "Man accused..." and had to go back after reading your comment. Although these days some doctors do look like teenagers to me.
ReplyDeleteThe cat would have fetched the neighbor much earlier. But, the dog did a good job.
ReplyDeleteA cat would have gone to a neighbor's house to be fed!!
DeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday and I laughed out loud at Skip's comment.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Humorous comments from readers are encouraged!
DeleteI really do enjoy reading your Sunday postings.
ReplyDeleteGood headlines this week, Joeh!
ReplyDeleteYou have me trained. Now when I see a weird headline in the news, I immediately think of you. I was thinking Sunny might show up here. Keep'em coming joeh.
ReplyDelete"Cops cuff volunteers for feeding the homeless in Florida" It is a shame some towns was laws against helping people. They have their police going after stupid stuff instead of real crime.
ReplyDeleteI hope one of those Microsoft litigants is the person who called me about problems with my Windows Computer, prompting me to scream at the top of my lungs into the phone: "NO! MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN?" He hung up really fast. I suppose if everybody he called did that to him, it could be stressful...
ReplyDeleteI chuckled when I read that Bernie Madoff story. How the mighty have fallen.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least the nude woman stealing a cop car wasn't able to carry a concealed weapon!
ReplyDeleteNooooo. They can't take the Monopoly pieces. I didn't know they took the iron. My game still has it. I don't want them to take the dog!
ReplyDelete