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Sunday, August 7, 2016

OLYMPIC ATHLETES, THE BEST OF THE BEST?

OLYMPIC ATHLETES, THE BEST OF THE BEST?

This cranky re-run is from August 2012...I stand by it today!

I have been trying to avoid any comment on these 2012 Olympics, but I can hold my tongue no longer.  This morning I woke up to watch “Athletes” performing in synchronized swimming.  This is an Olympic event?  I know, I know… it takes skill and work and practice, practice, practice to win a medal in this “event.”  It also takes skill and work and practice, practice, practice to play the trombone.  Can I expect trombone to be an Olympic event in 2016?  How about trombone pairs?  OR Synchronized trombone.  Will there be a trombone relay? 

How about the trombone throw?  I would tune in for that.

“Jones is in the ring for his last attempt at the trombone throw.  He has already won the gold in the non-slide throw, silver in the trombone throw relay and a bronze in the pairs.  If he can beat Jenkins toss of 88’ 3” he will become the most decorated trombone thrower in Olympic history with a chance to win four more medals in the slide pair, relay, synchronized and team events.”

Jones got his start in the trombone throw because he sucked at every other sport he ever attempted.  He took up playing the trombone at age 14.  When he realized he also sucked at playing the trombone, he threw it in a fit of frustration and a future Olympian was born.

Here it comes, after years of practice and sacrifice Jones goes into his spin, he plants and it IS A BEAUTIFUL RELEASE…THIS IS GOING TO BE A NEW OLYMPIC RECORD….91’…JONES IS THE…wait…wait…oh NO.  THE SLIDE CAME OFF…FOUL…FOUL…WHAT A SHOCKING END TO ONE OF THE GREATEST OLYMPIC ATHLETES OF ALL TIME!”

The Olympics should be Boxing, and Track and Field (except speed walking, walking is not a sport.)  All other sports are adequately represented by professional leagues. 

Swimming, gymnastics and volleyball can have their own separate games, the SRAO: The Second Rate Athlete Olympics.

If anyone still cared about ping pong, canoe racing, diving, archery etc. etc. etc. then “The Wide World of Sports” would still be on the air Sunday afternoons.

Relax all you fans of anything Olympic...its satire!... Mostly.           

16 comments:

  1. In my opinion, the best of the best of the best should only qualify if they won WITHOUT having used any performance enhancing drugs.
    The whole show now is a complete farce.
    But I do agree that synchronised swimming doesn't really seem like Olympic material.

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  2. I don't watch the Olympics but am always interested to hear who got a gold. Under those circumstances I guess I could tolerate a trombone through!!

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  3. What....you don't like watching volleyball? Err..WOMEN'S volleyball? Wearing bikinis, on a beach? Turn in your man card! ;)

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  4. I think the displaced persons team is brilliant.

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  5. Because of all of the controversies, i haven't watched in years. Synchronized swimming is a sport, just like curling.

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  6. If doodling was an Olympic sport I'd be covered in gold.

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  7. You mean you'd be willing to lose the madcap excitement of curling?

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  8. Whenever it was when they allowed professional basketball players to play in the Olympics kind of made the Olympics look different to me. They should be amateurs at their sport competing and also a cut off date when they can't compete; gives others a chance to perhaps make the team. I would prefer for the summer games that wrestling and boxing weren't part of them myself.

    betty

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  9. The only event we watched was the guy that ran with the gals and he was way in the lead. That did it for me.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  10. I agree with Betty. When the pros started competing, they lost me. The craze to count medals also bums me. I enjoy it when an athlete from an obscure country climbs the podium and stands above the power countries.

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  11. The story of how Jones found his niche in the trombone throw made me laugh. It's almost believable. A radio announcer here divides all sports into "fighting,fleeing or flouncing" and I think of that a lot with the Olympics. I personally enjoy watching a lot of the "flouncing" events!

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  12. I don't watch any of it anymore. No real reason, is just boring to me.

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  13. Give Betty a gold medal! That's exactly what's wrong with the Olympics.

    When it was amateurs competing, I was glued to the TV. Now I don't even watch the opening ceremonies.

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