I just got back from the supermarket. Waiting to check out I saw an article in what appeared to be a reputable magazine that will rock the socks off this year’s presidential election.
It seems that Hillary Clinton is actually 327 years old. She is not from Earth, but is in fact from the underground world on the planet Saturn “Undersaturnia.” Her real name is “Kankleticus”, and she took over the body of the infant Hillary with instructions to take over Earth so all the inhabitants can be enslaved to work on farms in Undersaturnia.
This explains why she is so sympathetic to the cause of illegal aliens.
The plan is first she becomes President of the United States, and then with other worldwide plants of Undersaturnia she is declared emperor of the world.
Donald Trump has been sent from the non-evil citizens of Undersaturnia who make up one percenter of that population. His real name is “Oranghairius.” He will expose Hillary for the fraud that she is and stop the enslavement of the citizens of Earth. His reward will be exclusive rights to turn Texas into a giant golf resort for the one percenters of Undersaturnia.
Proof of this plot will be made available sometime in the second week of November.
If you think this election is important you are right. If you want to be enslaved and shipped off to work the underground farms of Undersaturnia, then vote for Hillary. If you want to live under the leadership of the Good and Great Oranghairius, vote for Trump.
If you are from Texas, you are screwed either way.