NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Saturday, June 18, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 061916


STUPID HEADLINES 061916
It is time again for
That got my attention
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

_________________________________

Dutch woman jailed in Qatar after reporting rape convicted of 'illicit sex' – Woman found guilty after given a drugged drink and then raped.  Call me a bigot; I still think the Middle East is just a little backward.

London mayor bans Tube ads that promote unhealthy body image – Finally! Now it is safe to visit London.

Chicken chain refuses to fry its chicken – Irish fast food chain “WeBE” (We Boil Everything) insists on sticking with its roots.  “People love our boiled chicken sandwich and French boiled potatoes.


Broncos DC Wade Phillips Says His Super Bowl Ring Had the Name Spelled Wrong – NFL vows to change engraver from “Bubba and Bubba” to “Patel and Patel.”



Man lives 555 days without a heart – Big deal, I have 2 ex-wives who have gone 55+ years and still counting.


Homeowner says 19 vehicles have crashed into his house since 1960 – He might want to consider rebuilding just a skosh further off the road.

How to Survive a Gator Attack: 'Fight Like Hell,' Wildlife Experts Say – Good to know!

Taliban reportedly use 'beautiful' boys to infiltrate, kill Afghanistan police – OK, now I understand, homosexuality is an abomination…UNLESS you are diddling little boys, so homosexual bad, pedophilia good…what are we doing in this country?

Oakland police chief fired after six days on the job amid sex scandal – From a new game show, “I can lose that job in six days.”  OK, lose that job.”

Most modern marriages are invalid, Pope says – Where was the Pope when I really needed him?


Scientist uses apples to grow human ears – Just imagine what he could do with a cucumber!

Or

Most Scientists still use cauliflower.

Or

What’s wrong with the traditional ear of corn?


Kenyan court upholds use of anal probes to determine sexuality – That is one solution, but it does slow down the lines to the bathrooms.

___________________________

Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINES

13 comments:

  1. the ex-wives punchline was awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The full story on the Oakland police chief situation is three different chiefs in nine days! Woo-Hoo!

    (OK, I suppose it was the guy before the one who was charged with the sex stuff, the one with the sex stuff, and the woman hired to replace him, but still...)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Joe, Joe, Joe.. Again with coffee out of my nose! I just can't have you with my morning coffee anymore. First the ex-wives then the cucumber. It was a double whammy and I'll be informing Dr. Oz to stop peddling the neti pot and just read your blog while drinking. Omg... And ew on the boiled chicken and ew on the anal probe. They sound like they go together. - Happy Father's Day to you, btw. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Father's Day, and your ex wives sound colder than a landlord's heart!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I linked you to Silly Sunday. The headlines are bad enough, but your commentary is the best.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  6. I had to Google Man lives 555 days without a heart--AMAZING!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I guess I won't be using a restroom in Kenya any time soon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do not think a skosh will be far enough. Especially, if the people there drive like the people drive in the parking lot where my mom works.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Really, if you find yourself in a position to have to survive a gator attack, you've already made some really bad decisions.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How to survive a gator attack? Fast running shoes and a telephone booth might help, too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm shocked that guy didn't go public with his auto accident house after the 18TH time it got hit!

    ReplyDelete
  12. haha where was the pope when you needed him..
    you rock have a blessed time all the time

    ReplyDelete
  13. "I still think the Middle East is just a little backward. . ."

    Yeah, but there's virtually no such thing as rape there. . .

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!