THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Saturday, June 25, 2016
Stupid Headlines 062616
Stupid Headlines 062616
It is time again for
That's just wrong!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Microsoft is testing a new
mosquito trap to fight Zika– Makes sense, mycomputer runs on Microsoft Windows, and it catches
bugs all the time.
Axe-throwing club wants a liquor license – Cause
axe-throwing and liquor go together like blow torches and dynamite.
Texas woman wakes up with British accent after common jaw surgery –
Apparently the surgery also included a stiff upper lip.
Same-sex marriages in US up,
domestic partnerships down – Well they have only recently been deemed legal, so why is this a surprise. I’ll bet sales of Cuban cigars will also be up this year.
Movement on a vast scale detected near San Andreas fault – Maybe
Oprah shouldn’t eat bread every day!
Judge rules Texas prison must provide inmates with safe-drinking water
– I’m not I favor of mollycoddling prisoners, but I
think providing non-poisonous water is reasonable.
Clinton IT specialist invokes 5th more than 125 times – Big
deal, I used to take a fifth every night…now I just have an occasional glass
Solar-powered plane lands in Spain – The plane in
Spain landed mainly cause it rained.
Bank employees publicly spanked for poor performance – Hmmm, I think I’d prefer to
just give my notice by kicking this shithead boss’s ass.
Despite Latino surge, Asians
remain U.S.'s fastest growing racial group –Coming
around the final turn its Asians followed by Latinos with the Middle-east
driving hard, and Latinos are surging; coming to the finish its Asians…Latinos…Asians
and at the finish it’s ASIANS!!
Serbia Asks People To Please
Stop Throwing Their Grenades In The Garbage – Or at least duck tape the pin. (Thank you Fran)
Woman Calls Police Over Not
Enough Cheese On Her Pizza – If you think this is a problem, you should be a
Garbage man in Serbia! (Thanks Marty)