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Saturday, June 25, 2016

Stupid Headlines 062616

Stupid Headlines 062616

It is time again for
That's just wrong!


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  


Microsoft is testing a new mosquito trap to fight Zika – Makes sense, my computer runs on Microsoft Windows, and it catches bugs all the time.

Axe-throwing club wants a liquor license – Cause axe-throwing and liquor go together like blow torches and dynamite.
Texas woman wakes up with British accent after common jaw surgery – Apparently the surgery also included a stiff upper lip.
Same-sex marriages in US up, domestic partnerships down – Well they have only recently been deemed legal, so why is this a surprise.  I’ll bet sales of Cuban cigars will also be up this year.

Movement on a vast scale detected near San Andreas fault – Maybe Oprah shouldn’t eat bread every day!
Judge rules Texas prison must provide inmates with safe-drinking water – I’m not I favor of mollycoddling prisoners, but I think providing non-poisonous water is reasonable.
Clinton IT specialist invokes 5th more than 125 times – Big deal, I used to take a fifth every night…now I just have an occasional glass of wine.
Solar-powered plane lands in Spain – The plane in Spain landed mainly cause it rained.
Bank employees publicly spanked for poor performance – Hmmm, I think I’d prefer to just give my notice by kicking this shithead boss’s ass.
Despite Latino surge, Asians remain U.S.'s fastest growing racial group – Coming around the final turn its Asians followed by Latinos with the Middle-east driving hard, and Latinos are surging; coming to the finish its Asians…Latinos…Asians and at the finish it’s ASIANS!!

Serbia Asks People To Please Stop Throwing Their Grenades In The Garbage – Or at least duck tape the pin.  (Thank you Fran)

Woman Calls Police Over Not Enough Cheese On Her Pizza – If you think this is a problem, you should be a Garbage man in Serbia! (Thanks Marty)


Come back next week for more



  1. The last two made me spew coffee on my monitor. Thank you very much.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday as usual.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

  2. "Axe-throwing club wants a liquor license" Sure, why not? "Hard liquor and handgun night" has been a big hit at ballparks all over Texas for years. ;)

  3. The Microsoft one is genius. They're the perfect company to find bugs and viruses.

  4. I ALWAYS love your headlines!!

  5. Microsoft is testing a new mosquito trap to fight Zika So how are they doing this...will it be like a mouse trap with the cheese attracting the mouse, except this trap will have a rotten Apple?

  6. You are in top form today Cranky. I so look forward to your comments. Wish the news anchors did this.

  7. I didn't know calling the police over the lack of cheese on my pizza was an option.

  8. Well, "Clinton IT specialist invokes 5th more than 125 times" has to be false because everyone connected to Hillary Clinton is is so honest and trustworthy.

  9. You've chosen well, as usual. Thanks for the laughs!

  10. A bumper crop of headline comments this week! I particularly like the stiff upper lip and Oprah's movement.

  11. Wait. . . they have 'Axe-Throwing Clubs'?!?

  12. LOL - your commentary - and those of your readers are even funnier than the headlines!