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Thursday, June 16, 2016

Golf, so named by the Scots because “Oh Shit” was Already Taken

Golf, so named by the Scots because “Oh Shit” was Already Taken

Please, if you are going to tell me that it is just silly to chase a little ball around a field and try to put it in a hole, just move on; that’s like saying…well OK it is just chasing a little ball around a field and trying to put it in a hole…still, just move on.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

I have always hated these oft repeated words of wisdom.  I believe in “If first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

I have been playing golf for 54 years.  I am beginning to understand the wisdom of the first words of sage advice.  I have tried and tried again and again for 54 years.  Clearly I am insane.

The other day at the driving range I found my rhythm.  I found a new mantra. 

Backswing slow, pause at the top, swing through the ball.

Success!  I hit the ball sooo goood.   I had to go back to the range one more day before attacking the course with my new found swing and rhythm.

Backswing slow, pause at the top, swing through the ball. 

I sucked! 

I topped the ball, cut the ball, pulled the ball and shanked the ball. 

I have been doing this for 54 years.  Playing golf, stinking, finding a flaw and deciding I finally had figured out how to swing correctly and expecting to score really well…then as soon as I found the secret; I sucked.

This is it though.  I am done.  “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I have learned my lesson and will no longer subject myself to the frustration and aggravation that is known as the game of golf.  

I quit!

Except…I think maybe I was just lifting my head too early and I’m pretty sure I was bending my left arm and did not keep my weight distributed correctly.  Hmmm…I think I could make just a few adjustments and score really well.


I just might be insane.


  1. 54 yrs. time for papa to find a brand new bag...

  2. Yeah, I was gonna say you have to keep your head down

  3. I've told you this before:
    Some professional golfer--I think it was Sam Snead--once had an interesting dream. This is how I remember it. He was playing in a major tournament. He tees off on the first hole, a short par 3. The ball drops in for a hole in one! He thinks, "What a great start!" The 2nd hole is longer--a par 5. He hits a powerful drive, which goes a little to the left. It bounces off a tree & lands on the green, where it rolls into the cup. He can't believe his luck. Holes 3 through 17, all are somehow holes in one! He tees up on 18, confident that he's about to get a score of 18 for the round. He swings, hits & the ball heads straight for the flag. It drops on the green & rolls toward the hole--& stops, 1 inch short. He's going to get a never-before-made score of 19 for the day, but he had the same reaction as any golfer would have to that shot. He said, "Oh, shit!" My point is that no one is ever truly satisfied with their game!!

  4. I didn't realise the game of golf was so complicated but if you've been playing for 54 years it sounds as though you've mastered the art. Perhaps golfers are never satisfied with what they do. But what do I know, I'm not a golfer!

  5. I'm not a golfer, but I've heard some really interesting stories. Kind of like this one.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend Joe. ☺

  6. May you can teach an old dog new tricks!

  7. I think it is good exercise, both mentally and physically. I would keep at it!


  8. Ha! My father-in-law was an avid golfer and often tried to interest me in the sport, but I never had the time or inclination. There days I'm struggling with tennis.

  9. W.C. Fields said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a d@mned idiot about it."

  10. I realized at about the age of 30 that I was never going to make it to the PGA tour. Actually I think I realized that I didn't have to play 18 holes to enjoy a toddy or two in the clubhouse. I could just skip the golf and go straight to the bar. Eureka!

  11. I've never played golf, but I imagine this is how a lot of players feel. I think I'm too impatient and short-tempered to play...then again, it sounds like even the most zen golfer can be driven to insanity after a bad round.

    Not sure if the title of your post is from Caddyshack or this Robin Williams stand-up bit but I thought I'd share it anyway, in case you haven't seen it.

    The Pedestrian Writer

  12. least you didn't have to take a detour to get to the course this time. Because surely you would have shared that with us.

  13. Hi Cranky,

    I hate golf. I think it is pointless.

    I have posted my opinions of golf. You may not like them but you may chuckle (hopefully)!




  14. You probably weren't holding your tongue right.

  15. Physics is hard so golf is hard.


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