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Friday, May 2, 2014

WHY WE NEED THERAPISTS


WHY WE NEED THERAPISTS

 I am not fond of therapists; I really don’t believe in them that much.  Still, I see around me evidence that the world will always need therapists.

On a recent trip to Aruba, I witnessed parents preparing a four year old for a future of therapy.  This little girl was obviously used to getting her way, and while waiting in line for the airport security check she was inconsolable when her demands to be held could not be met even if her parents wanted to indulge her.  I made a mental note that this is why you do not give in to children just to appease them; sooner or later appeasement will not be possible and the child will not understand or care.  She will do what she has been taught and whine, tug on legs or throw a full out lie down and kick tantrum.

When this little girl finally made it through security she made a bee line into a store unaccompanied by a parent.   Mom turned her head for an instant and the girl was gone, apparently looking to cash in with a present as a reward for being a brat in the line.

Mom saw her just as she entered the store.  She could have just grabbed her and walked her out explaining that she could not just have whatever she wants whenever she wants it, and to remind her to stay close especially in a crowded airport.

No, she did not do that.

Mom ran to her little girl in a complete panic.   The little girl saw that mom was upset and became upset herself. 

Here comes the good part, or actually the bad part.

Mom scooped her daughter in her arms and went on to explain in great detail,

“Don’t ever run away like that again.  There are people who if they see you alone will grab you and drag you away.  They will lock you up and make you do things you don’t want to do and you will NEVER SEE MOMMY OR DADDY AGAIN!! 

Do you want that…DO YOU?”

I guess that will stop her from running away again; maybe.

I think there may be a therapist in that little girl’s future.

16 comments:

  1. You know how I feel about just saying no to kids Joe but I don't think it's ever crossed my mind to try and scare the bejeezus out of them to get them to behave. I don't know why some people make life so much harder for themselves.

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  2. Amazing the lack of parenting skills out there. Where is that instruction manual when you really need it. My kid used to scare the whatever out of me but I didn't try to scare it out of him. I also worked hard not to do the guilt trip stuff either but occasionally that one would win out.

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  3. I never caved into this type of behavior. There were consequences to my sons behavior. Good behavior you got good things. Bad behavior...we went home no matter what we were supposed to do. Flying would ad some challenges, but still. Kids will do whatever you allow them to do.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  4. Be careful. In this politically correct world, if you call the little twit a brat, you might damage her psyche.

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  5. My ex had a really good solution...
    Every time one of the kids misbehaved, I was punished.

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  6. I'm all about shock value myself.... So with the exception to giving into the tantrum, I'd totally tell my kid that if she wandered off a stranger will take her.
    I mean, my 7 year old is convinced that the in the ending of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, the wolf ate the boy... not the sheep. My kid will be on that therapist line I suppose. :)

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  7. Hmmm. Never happened to me. My son was a big wuss. Never left my side. Now he can't wait for his alone time.

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  8. Sounds like the little girl will indeed be needing therapy in a few years, but IMO the mom needs it RIGHT NOW!

    S

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  9. I spent twenty years at art shows, watching parents interact with children. I could write a book.

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  10. I don't believe much in therapists, either.

    I do believe in therapy. You know, the kind you get with a glass of wine and a bunch of chocolate.

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  11. Yep; therapy is in this kid's future. And pity the poor guy who foolishly marries her and has to deal with her. Happy weekend.

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  12. I was kind of worried that my then-13-year-old son might need a therapist, after I announced, in the middle of Little Caesar's, "Do you think it's easy trying to carry this pizza while I'm standing here holding your balls?" Let the record show that he had won two superballs in a game, and handed them to me while he played another.

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  13. Yup.. costly, lengthy therapy sessions.

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  14. That's a terrible thing to say to a little kid! Probably that kid will need therapy, and the mum too.
    I'm thankful that I was a more laid back parent who loved her kids without indulging them, none of them have ever needed therapy. All are well adjusted responsible adults. Even the black sheep has got himself sorted out. Finally.

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  15. Ha, yes that seems like it was pretty badly handled, but we've all handled situations with our kids badly. That woman is perhaps really good at some other aspect of parenting. Maybe she makes great healthy food or plays often with her kid or ... Something.

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