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Sunday, May 18, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 051814


STUPID HEADLINES 051814

It is time once again for
Good to know!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

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China considering building high-speed railway to U.S.  - Well except for that ocean thing.

Man allegedly drove to police station while drunk to file accident report – He might have gotten away with it except have you ever tried to say “accident” when you are half in the bag?

1985 Yugo with only 100 miles on it found in Kansas barn – Who knew they could last 100 miles?

British Using So Much Cocaine, It's Detectable In Their WaterSo that’s why they drive on the wrong side of the road.

Uruguay President Visits White House And Says U.S. Must 'Become A Bilingual Country' – Eway alwayedyray eakspa ootay anguayigeslay.

Doctors Treat Depression With Brain Magnets – Side effect is iron deficiency anemia.

N.Y. school board president under fire for calling parent ‘chubby wubby’ – That is just an outrageous dopey wopey thing to say, they should hangy wangy him!

Florida woman delivers triplets at age 47 without fertility treatment – Why would she need fertility treatments to deliver a baby?

Teen booted from prom after being told dress sparked 'impure thoughts' – It’s a Prom, put her in a burka and still there are no ‘pure’ thoughts.

Global study finds 1 in 4 adults anti-Semitic – I’m sure this study was done by a bunch of dreadlocked, yarmulke wearing cheap Jews!

Radio icon Casey Kasem spotted in Washington state – His identity was confirmed when he said, “I’m Casey Kasem.”

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Unilever first quarter disappoints despite Hellmanns’ upward sales spike – Hellmanns always does well for Cinco de Mayo.

We had two winners:


Okay, I think I spot your Unilever headline as an excuse for an always hilarious Hellmann's Cinco de Mayo joke (which recently toured Facebook as a Sinko de Mayo photo). If this is right, there is some seriously twisted stuff going on in the world (what a surprise).

I didn’t know I stole a bad joke, I thought it was my own original bad joke…oh well.

Visit Blissed-Out Grandma @ http://blissedoutgrandma.blogspot.com/

Good writing, fun stuff, nice lady!


Unilever

It's the only one that doesn't sound offensive or ridiculous or too good to be true, so it must be fake.

You can find Anita “Just Curious” @ http://btdas.blogspot.com/

Sometimes funny, sometimes thoughtful, always interesting (one of my fav’s…I’m just sayin.)

Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

18 comments:

  1. i'm going for transoceanic railway.

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  2. I'll go with the 1985 Yugo with only 100 miles on it found in Kansas barn. Those were awful, and ugly little pieces of...well you know.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

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  3. Chubby wubby? I bet he's more creative than that!

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  4. It's transoceanic railway for me too. It's entirely possible that the Yugo only MADE IT for the first hunnert miles, and they parked it.

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  5. I think it has to be the Yugo one also :-)

    Have a tanfabulous week ahead

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  6. I'm calling fake on the Yugo in the Kansas barn. I don't think anybody in Kansas ever drove a Yugo.

    I was torn between that and the Chinese-U.S. railway, because the name "chunnel" has already been taken. But I figure they could call it The Chailway. Japan has those high-speed mag-lev trains, so if that ocean can be overcome, it might be possible. Or it's propaganda.

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  7. I was just about to use my toilet brush to brush my teeth. You learn something every day.

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  8. High speed railway. Unless of course I'm way off track. ;)

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  9. I'm going for the Yugo in the barn. That's the fake.

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  10. I'll be joining the line of people who voted for the high-speed railway.

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  11. China considering building high-speed railway to U.S. ~ I guess it would go under the water and I would go crazy in the dark that long.

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  12. I'll vote for the Chubby Wubby comment.

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  13. I'm with Val. Except the part about hiding such an embarrassing in the barn--forever--that part I believe. And I heard the story about the Chinese wanting to tunnel across the Bering Strait. At least they're smarter than all the Americans who want to go THROUGH the earth to dig to China.

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  14. The Casey story was all over the place this week. I remember a find of cars in a barn, but I'd be surprised if there was a Yugo in it.

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  15. The train for me, too. They think they're Jesus? Walking/rolling over water like that?

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  16. I'm going for the cocaine story. Everyone knows the Brits do meth.

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  17. Cocaine in the water? Hmmm... Are they peeing it out? Problem with the sewer system there?

    Thanks for my Whoop-tee-do and the kudos. :)

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