THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, May 18, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 051814
STUPID HEADLINES 051814
It is time once again for
Good to know!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and
sometimes offensive comments. One headline is completely made up,
guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.
China considering building
high-speed railway to U.S. - Well except for that ocean
Man allegedly drove to police station while
drunk to file accident report – He might have gotten away with it except have you ever tried to say
“accident” when you are half in the bag?
1985 Yugo with only 100 miles on it found
in Kansas barn – Who
knew they could last 100 miles?
British Using So
Much Cocaine, It's Detectable In Their Water – So that’s why they drive on the wrong side of
Uruguay President Visits White House And Says U.S. Must 'Become A Bilingual
Country' – Eway alwayedyray eakspa ootay anguayigeslay.
Depression With Brain Magnets – Side effect is iron deficiency anemia.
N.Y. school board president under fire for calling
parent ‘chubby wubby’ – That is just an
outrageous dopey wopey thing to say, they should hangy wangy him!
Florida woman delivers triplets at age 47
without fertility treatment – Why would she need fertility treatments to deliver a baby?
Teen booted from prom after
being told dress sparked 'impure thoughts' –It’s
a Prom, put her in a burka and still there are no ‘pure’ thoughts.
finds 1 in 4 adults anti-Semitic – I’m sure this study was done by a bunch of dreadlocked,
yarmulke wearing cheap Jews!
Casey Kasem spotted in Washington state – His identity was confirmed when he said, “I’m
Last week’s fake
Unilever first quarter disappoints despite Hellmanns’
upward sales spike – Hellmanns
always does well for Cinco de Mayo.
Okay, I think I
spot your Unilever headline as an excuse for an always hilarious Hellmann's
Cinco de Mayo joke (which recently toured Facebook as a Sinko de Mayo photo).
If this is right, there is some seriously twisted stuff going on in the world
(what a surprise).
I didn’t know I
stole a bad joke, I thought it was my own original bad joke…oh well.