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Sunday, May 4, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 050414


STUPID HEADLINES 050414

It is time once again for
Who knew?
Thanks again Squeak

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.*

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Teens apply lip balm to eyelids for extra buzz – Forget the lips, forget the gums, look out eye lid, here it comes.

Gold bars found inside stomach of Indian businessman – As long as you’re going to shit a brick it might as well be gold.

Valerie Harper Sued For Not Revealing She Had Cancer to Employer – It’s only May and already the biggest dick of the year award is a wrap.

Judge OKs decision to sell widow's home over $6.30 debtNot so fast, we have a contender.

Texas farmer finds egg of whistler duck, long thought to be extinct – Now looking for whistler duck egg’s mother, a stern old bird in a black dress with a white hat.

Fishermen save drowning man by hooking sweater Ungrateful man complained about getting a pulley on his sweater.

New York moves to classify cheerleading as sportWho is going to cheer for the cheerleaders? “Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?  Us…Us…yeah US!

Runaway Budweiser blimp on the loose over Canada – “Get that hoser outa heeya eh, come back when ya got some Molson’s or Moosehead eh.”

Animals could become human organ donors someday, researchers claim – Are they going to allow the keys to be ivory.

Actress, Claims 'Ghost Sex' Is 'Really Pleasurable' – Not really a ghost, but he was a Wizard under the sheets.

*Some bloggers may be ineligible to participate this week…you know who you are.



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Last week’s fake headline was:

California man finds his own message in bottle after 40 years – He found the bottle in his basement, message ordered two quarts of milk, a pound of butter and a dozen eggs.

And the winners are”


The strip club that doubles as a church is brilliant. They got caught, but still that's brilliant.

I know that pistol story is true. Remember where I worked for for 25 years. I've watched doctors remove some very interesting things from that little hidey hole.  I'll go with the California man that finds his own note in the bottle. The odds are huge on that one.

Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. I always look forward to guessing what's false.

Visit Sandee @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ go right now and enter a joke on her “Silly Sunday” hop.



my vote is for the guy who found his own message in a bottle.

Go to the “House of Lime” @ http://houseoflime.blogspot.com/ she’s not you Grandma’s school librarian.



I have not looked at the comments so I may have already been proven wrong, but I say it was the message in a bottle guy. Thanks to you I will have Styx tunes running through my head tonight though.

Find Slamdunk @ http://theslamdunktrove.blogspot.com/ You never know what you’re going to get, but it is all good.

            Val

I'm going with the 40-year-old Message in a Bottle as fake. That's a piece of cake.  Like a man could ever find anything...

I WISH it was the doctor mocking an unconscious patient. But having awakened during surgery and heard the doctor mocking me, I fear that it is not.

Val is @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ Sharpen your mind and have a 44 oz. cup of diet Pepsi before you visit this hillbilly intellectual.

16 comments:

  1. Whistling ducks? You been watching Daffy Duck cartoons again? Umm....no.

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  2. Worth a chuckle this morning....:)

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  3. I'm going for the egg. I can just see the farmer stopping his tractor, climbing down for one egg in the way. Those tractors are two stories high and just as wide these days. ONE egg! Give me a break.

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  4. I too am going to have to go with the Texas farmer and the egg. Texans stop for nothing. Lead, follow or get out of the way.

    I chuckled over the ghost sex one, but then remember we were talking about hollyweird. Those goofballs are mostly crazy.

    Have a terrific day. I linked you to Silly Sunday. ☺

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  5. O.K. I'm going with the whistler duck egg, too. I don't think those birds are extinct.

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  6. Whistling ducks for me too it must drive people Quackers.

    Had to LOL @ the Ghost Sex one

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  7. I will go with the drowning man getting his stupid sweater hooked. I'm sure it's the whistling duck egg but too many others are voting on that and I like to be different.

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  8. Well, I'll be different, too. I'm going with ghost sex. I'm not sure what would qualify as ghost sex...or how that could be pleasurable.

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  9. Gotta go with the whistler duck eggs. No idea why!

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  10. I'm going with ghost sex. Surely it is to ridiculous to be true. lol

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  11. I am going with Actress, Claims 'Ghost Sex' Is 'Really Pleasurable' this week. I will be upset if it is my second choice about the judge and the $6.30 debt.

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  12. Whistler ducks are all over the place so I'll pick that one.

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  13. I pick the Eyelid Lip Balm Buzz. That's one trend I have not noticed in my neck of the teenage woods.

    My personal favorite was the Whistler Duck Mama, who I pictured as Miss Prissy. Different species, different color, but somehow similar.

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  14. I'm going to exclude myself.. though I don't think you were referring to me. I think I do know what headline and to whom it was aimed and I'll join her in her indignation. ;)

    In the meantime, I'll keep an eye out for that blimp.

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  15. All that and a good sweater is ruined?

    I'll celebrate my victory from last time. Enjoy your Monday, Cranky...

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